Happy Friday! Today we have a guest post from Canadian writer/blogger Nadine Gooden. After being single for seven years and dating online for two, Nadine recently got engaged to her boyfriend of 3 years. The talented scribe reached out to BlackBridalBliss.com (She’s a Triple B fan!) about sharing her new insight as a bride-to-be. Be prepared to learn and laugh.
This just in: Newly engaged woman thinks she can keep walking on clouds and not come down a notch to plan her wedding. Well folks, that woman would be me. Now that our engagement has been announced, it’s time to plan our wedding. Thankfully, we can already check off 3 key items from our to-do list: 1) the date has been set, 2) the church has been booked, and 3) the venue has been reserved!
Admittedly I’m in unfamiliar territory. Maybe I should be better prepared given the number of times I’ve been a bridesmaid, then again, maybe not. It’s different when you’re the bride. The planning process can feel overwhelming. Until recently, I could barely pronounce hydrangeas. I’m a no fuss, no muss kind of gal. Just give me an intimate and elegant celebration and I’ll be happy.
So what’s next? Well, that’s the thing, I’m not entirely sure. I know the focus should be on the details, i.e. bridal gown, florists, decor, but I am unclear on exactly where to start. I’m treating this as a major project, complete with a budget and project schedule, breaking it down by category. I feel ready. And with only a year to go, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned so far.
Get on the Same Page Talk early and often. Do get clear on each other’s likes and dislikes right away to establish your vision for your wedding. Don’t shut your fiancé out, he may just surprise you. Sure, there will be times you disagree, but you must compromise. Not only will your fiancé feel included in the planning process, he will appreciate knowing that you value his opinion.
Brain Freeze If you visit our apartment, they’re hard to miss. They go where I go. I’m referring to the 5 thick ass bridal magazines I can’t seem to shake loose. The routine goes something like this: glance at magazine, absorb what I can until my brain hurts, check mark or rip out pages of interest, pause for a few days then repeat. Or if I’m online, I’ll bookmark pages or save photos. The bottom line is you’ll never be able to absorb it all so don’t even try.
P.S. The nice thing about leaving your bridal magazines around the apartment is that there’s a very good chance your fiancé will glance at it and possibly point out something they like.
More Money, More Problems Know what you can and can’t afford and make it work. You don’t have to break the bank to get the wedding you want. Many couples get carried away and plan their wedding to appease their guests. The truth is if your loved ones really support you they’ll understand that it’s your day, not theirs. Don’t go for broke for one day. Save your money and put it elsewhere e.g. honeymoon, house, savings. Smart couples know that it’s not about the wedding, but the day after the wedding…just saying.
Things can get sticky when family members feel they can steer the direction of the wedding because they helped out financially. Do set the ground rules early to establish how much say they should have when making decisions. Don’t treat your family like an ATM. If you can’t find a compromise then be prepared to foot the expenses. However, if you decide to accept their help, express your gratitude, be respectful of their limits but let them know that the final decision is yours.
All Eyes On You Although I don’t plan to obsess about my appearance, I do want on taking advantage of this opportunity to give myself extra TLC. As I continue to take care of myself from the inside out with a balanced diet, I’ll be increasing my weekly yoga and cardio. I’m not a fan of gyms – I prefer the outdoors and so many of those machines look like medieval torture devices – but for the right workout, I may just give them a second look.
What Really Counts Do remember what it’s really about: you and your boo beginning a new chapter in your lives. Many of us rarely see couples jump the broom and the few marriages we do see are usually shown in a negative light. I never viewed marriage as a noun, but rather a verb that you commit to daily. Marrying my best friend is a big deal and a reason to celebrate! No matter your style of wedding or its size, if you can remember to breathe, relax and laugh…together, you’re on the right path towards marital bliss.
Feel free to check out more of Nadine’s work here. Have a great weekend everyone.