The Road to Mrs. – Balancing My Fiance & My Friends

On the road to Mrs. Jene is learning to balance time with her beau and her buddies!

One of the trickiest balancing acts you have to learn when you decide to get married is the one of time management between your single girlfriends and your new spouse.  This is especially when your social life revolved around your girls before your relationship. It is delusional to think changes wont be necessary.

First let me say I am a firm believer in maintaining your friendships. Good girlfriends have shared a connection that should transcend time. They have been confidants, partners in crime and even surrogate parents in some cases. Your girlfriends were the people who helped you navigate the dating maze that got you to the marriage point in the first place.  So getting married should not make them obsolete.

However, when you stand before God and take a spouse your husband/wife has to be the priority in your life. Their feelings should be considered above all. By getting married you are saying you are no longer a single, but part of a union. Your actions need to reflect accordingly.

Here is where the balancing act begins. Your girlfriends need to recognize that since you are now married you wont be as available as you may have been in the past.  Its not because your affection for them has changed, its just availability is not the same.

Jene with a couple of close girlfriends and members of her bridal party.

With that said, your new spouse has to also acknowledge the importance of your girlfriends in your life. He has to appreciate that the friendships you have fostered have helped cultivate the woman you have become; the woman he loves. It is important he supports you in continuing those relationships.

In a nutshell, when you decide to get married you have to make your marriage and your spouse your first priority. But in doing so completely kicking your friends to the curb is not an option. A healthy person is multi-faceted, and all of the facets need to be honored.

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    1. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      When Jene wrote this I appreciated it but now I truly “get it”. Amen and amen again.

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