(Not Quite) Tie the Knot Tuesday – I’m Engaged!

Me and the love of my life about two hours before he popped the question.

Those of you who follow Triple B on Twitter might already know that this past weekend, I got engaged. And those of you who have been following Triple B here know that I rarely ever mention my personal relationship on this site. I’m a pretty private person. But I came to the conclusion – after careful consideration — that if I expect others to continue to be candid with me about their relationships, fears and triumphs, I should do the same…So here goes:

I launched Triple B in the spring of 2010, five months after being laid off from my “good job”. I was confused, pissed and downright hurt but I just couldn’t sit still and have a pity party. Triple B was the result of me witnessing how the bridal industry can ignore Black women and wanting to counter that but it was also born out of my desire to showcase Black women of various ages, income levels, sizes and complexions seemingly happy on their way to or in bridal bliss. This might have seemed like a daunting if not dang near impossible task to many but I knew I could pull it off if I tried. (However the business side of running a blog has been — and is — daunting!) I also felt that my background covering fashion and style for various media outlets and the growing relationships I had with showrooms, publicists, photographers, hair stylists, makeup artists and even manicurists could prove beneficial for providing the type of bridal blog I envisioned Triple B to become.

I weighed a plethora of factors while creating Triple B. But what I didn’t think about too much was my own bridal bliss. Sure, I’ve had people give me the side-eye after learning I was an unmarried bridal blogger. But I eventually used that as a push to move forward — and politely gave them the side-eye right back. I did have an idea of what my “big day” might be like but I was much more concerned with the day-to-day of my relationship to give it too much attention.

My own relationship with the man I’m now preparing to marry has been about as far from a fairytale as one could get. We’ve had lots of false starts and stops. We’ve broken up to make up more times than I care to remember. Job loss, financial woes, family issues, cheating, long distance — we’ve dealt with it all and then some. And we’re still not a fairytale — not in the traditional sense anyway. My engagement ring has an amethyst stone — not a diamond. Amethyst is my birthstone and actually played a significant role in getting us to this point. The base of the ring is one that my deceased father (who I was very close with) gave to my mother. We’re both well into our 30s, set in our ways and sometimes, okay often times, stubborn. We’re now adjusting our mindsets to think in terms of us and our and not just me and my. We’re having challenging conversations about where we’re going to live, how we’re going to combine our finances and who will take the lead in various household business affairs. In short, we’re doing a lot of growing up. And the reason that I can’t stop smiling even though we have a heap of “grown up” ish to tackle? I know that both of us are looking forward to getting familiar with the unfamiliar together.

While I still haven’t decided if I’m going to pen my own Road to Mrs. posts here on Triple B, I will certainly fill you guys in on my wedding planning in the coming weeks and months. (Give me a minute though, I can’t begin to think about that until next week at the earliest.) I’m actually looking forward to sharing with you all — not looking forward to that dreaded guest list though…yikes! — and have to remind myself that I deserve this bliss. I’ve earned this bliss. I am proud to say that I have had a fun and fulfilling life as a single and dating woman. I’ve traveled the world, I’ve partied with the best of ’em, I found a rewarding career path I truly enjoy. But it is time to move into another exciting chapter of life and one thing I know for sure is that the best is yet to come!

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    Comments

    1. OMG Bridgette! I am so excited for you & pray the Lord’s continued best for you!! If you need me I am here!

      Atosha

    2. Yay, Bridgette! Congratulations, dear. I’m super excited for you. Enjoyed reading your story, so keep them coming. :) God bless.

    3. LaKisha Coles says:

      1st and foremost a huge CONGRATULATIONS Bridgette! I know you will make a Beautiful Bride and I pray God’s Choice Blessings on you and your fiance and you take this next step in life. 2nd Thank you for being so transparent. I’m sure the things you havent figured out yet will come naturally and through prayer you two will be able to figure out what works Best.:)
      God Bless.

    4. CONGRATULATIONS BRIDGETTE!!!!!! I still remember me and my now husband of three years interviewing with you for our Triple B TTKT feature like it was yesterday. Thank you for continuing to spread the realness and beauty of Black love and for now sharing YOUR story of bridal bliss with us. I wish you and your hubby to be all the best in wedding planning, family planning, life planning and the new chapter you will begin as one. May God continue to bless your life and your love.
      Ty

    5. Just wanted to stop through and say congratulations!! This is my first time here. I’m not a bride-to-be (yet..lol). However, I really loved reading your post about the process of the blog and the road you’ve taken with your fiancee. I’m praying for God’s richest blessing for you on your journey!!! Thank you for sharing!

    6. hey B! This was very open, honest and beautiful! Thank you for sharing your truth.

    7. I am so happy for you lady. I love that you shared the real about your relationship and how you guys got to this point. You are a beautiful person who was been inspirational to so many. I wish you nothing but blessings and happiness

    8. I absolutely LOVE this post! I think lots of women need to hear that you’ve had false starts and issues to tackle along the road to finally being engaged. That lends hope! Thanks for sharing. A huge congrats to you and you beau. Excited for you. A few “road to mrs.’ entries here and there wouldn’t hurt! LOL. Best wishes.

    9. Congrats baby girl! So proud and happy for you(s)…and remember Chayil and CC BlaQ are at your service. (((HUGS)))

    10. Can’t tell you congrats enough times lady! This post was honest and took courage to write. When you’re living your life to the fullest and in the light of God, you can’t hide honesty. Your truth is someone elses truth, someone elses lesson and someone elses hope. Enjoy this time as it is one of the most important times in a woman’s life. Best wishes to you and yours. Love you both.

    11. how wonderful, Bridget! such lovely news…and you both look so happy in the photo (and I love that it was taken just before the engagement!). enjoy the journey, my dear!!!

    12. OMG, in my rush to send along my congratulations, did I forget to type your other “t” and “e?” yes, I did! :-( all that said, I really am thrilled for you, Bridgette!

    13. Ruth Fulton says:

      Bridgette,
      I am so happy for you, you deserve the happiness you are such a sweat person. I pray that everything cont. to go well for you. I consider you girls my daughters. I am happy that my daughter is getting married.
      congrat. to both of you.

    14. Thanks for sharing B.B. ! Wow, so often we judge our selves so harshly. These stories show the path to bliss is challenging at best, but so worth it, and it does happen! Congratulations!!!!

    15. CONGRATULATIONS!! I love how honest your post is. Not all relationships are fairy tales and I completely understand your journey as I have a similar one. The journey to engagement may be full of obstacles but like you said you know you both are looking forward and that’s what matters most!!

    16. Wyonnie Flaherty says:

      Girl, I am so………… happy for you. Congratulations to you both! I read your posts fairly often but am so happy I did not miss this one. Two of the most important things you need to make a marriage work are Communication and Compromise. It sounds like you and your fiance already have this down. So don’t let the planning overwhelm you and yes, enjoy this time!!!

    17. Congrats Bridgette!

    18. I’ll say it again–Congratulations….and also thank you. I know self disclosing was a big deal, but it was the candid talk that people need to hear. Hell, I needed it. I’m not married, but have hopes of it sooner than later, and my story is far from a fairytale too. Thanks for helping me see that not all the stories out there are cookie cutter. I didn’t think they were, but when you hear it, it’s SO validating. How about an article about some of those growing up conversations? (not your own–unless you want to–but they could be helpful too). Can you tell I’m a foreigner to this chapter of my life? Haha. Congrats lady!

    19. Denise West says:

      Much happiness to you.

    20. Congratulations!!!!! I would say that YES, you deserve it. Your honestly is what I think will make yrou business strive. Congrats again!!

    21. Congratulations on your engagement! Your story and all stories to come will continue making Triple B thrive into the success that it is.

    22. Big Bridge, I’m proud of you and Chuck…. I’m glad to be a part of the history you two are about to make….

    23. Marlene Faustin says:

      Hey Bridgette ! I just talked to your mom and she told me the GoodNews.I just had to add my best wishes to you both. May you have many happy years.Love you !!

    24. Congrats Bridgette! Wow, loved every word of your testimony, so true and enlightening. I wish you all of God’s grace and blessings.

    25. I am wishing you two a Congratulations and May you Love each other Forever! I am so thankful to you Bridgette! Thanks for your honesty and I can’t wait to see you & read about your planning. Girl….. I’ve been waiting to see you post this because you are a great person and deserver a great partner! Well, Girl you got him and now Go get your blessings together!!! It’s your time!

    26. Such a beautiul story! CONGRATULATIONS AND BEST WISHES ON YOUR ENGAGEMENT, Wishing you nothing but love , happiness and blessings.

    27. So happy for you Bridgette!!! Thank you for your honesty this was a beautiful post and I wish you two the best! and YES you deserve this bliss :-)

    28. Awww yay! Congratulations!!!

    29. B, congratulations to you and your soulmate! I am inspired by your story since my man and I have similar circumstances to yours. I also love the ‘non-traditional’ stone. I am overjoyed at your happiness. Who knew back in ’83 that you’d rock the fashion world and become a leading voice for us…oh, right- we DID know you were special even then!

    30. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all! Your encouragement and support means more than you know. I think I will print these comments out and save them. They might be nice to revisit in the coming years.

    31. Congratulations! Be Blessed in you BLISS!

    32. Congratulations, Bridgette – your life together is going to be beautiful and amazing! Can’t wait to read about your wedding!

    33. Cousin Janice says:

      Hi Bridge:

      I just heard today. One in our family wanted to know if you got married–he is ahead of the game (smile). I am truly happy for you and yours and wish you lots of future happiness and joy. I am looking forward to your big day–you know our family seems to love weddings–we always turn out en masse! Keep me posted.

    34. Congratulations to your engagement ! You do deserve the best ! (I agree with Prudence) .
      I wish I’ve seen articles like this years ago and probably would’ve changed my own choices by receiving and paying attention to sound advice.
      Hate to say marriage ‘ takes work ‘ but hope you both keep God in your relationship making it stronger ( in non-religious terms you can call it positive energy, loving perseverance, patience on both sides, or any description that others can understand) .
      I will be checking your website from time to time and see your wedding photos !

    35. I am so excited for you!!! I hear marriage is great (still Miss), but a lot of work. But like my dad always says anything worth having is worth working at. I wish you the best and can’t wait sneak a peek at how you plan your wedding. Congratulations!!!

    36. Bridgette, many many congratulations. Be open to the blessings cause life is no fairy tale and have FUN planning the next chapter in your life and learning the lessons that will lead to the happy ending….

    37. I am so glad that you have shared your story. Often times, women who go through these ups and downs want to hear stories from other women who have gone through it and some how survived. Its nice to see the pretty pictures, but even more encouraging to learn HOW they made it to the wedding day. Thank you for sharing.

    38. Congrats Bridegette! May God bless you and your beautiful family! I’m so happy for you. I love weddings. You are a true inspiration. My cousin and I love your blog.

    39. YAY!!! Congratulations!!! So happy for you!

    40. Renee Westmoreland says:

      Hi Bridgette,
      My name is Renee’ Westmoreland. You don’t know me but I feel as though I know you. Well…I know of you through a very sweet woman, Ms. Bartlette. You see your mom and I have worked together for a time. In the past we have talked in passing and commented on each other’s style and articles of clothing. This year when we found out that we would work together permanently (or for as long as the Lord deems) we were estatic. We hugged, thank God and carried on. We have begun to up the ante in our relationship and have gone from co-workers to friends. We have both been extremely proud of to particular people in our lives me, my mother and her literary achievements and her, you for being you and starting a new chapter in your life. I’ve shared my mom’s books with her and she’s shared your articles with me. Congrats and God bless sweet girl!

    41. Thanks again, everyone! I sincerely appreciate your supportive and encouraging words. Triple B really is a family. What a blessing.

    42. Congrats again, diva!!! XOXO, Man, Wife and Dog

    43. I know this is a super old post but thank you for being so transparent and for letting God use you.

    44. This site really has all the info I needed concerning this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

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