The Road to Mrs. with Nae – Why I’m Not Having a Wedding Registry

Traditionally wedding registries allowed couples to choose household items (specifically china, silver and crystal patterns) that they preferred to have in the building of their new life as a married couple and share these preferences with wedding guests in order to prevent unwanted gifts. The use of wedding registries has evolved into several more modern alternatives. Online, honeymoon, charity and even cash registries are just some of the more popular registries today.Making use of today’s technology, most retailers now offer engaged couples the option of registering for gifts online. There are even online wedding registries that combine items from multiple retailers. In recognition of the added expense of honeymoon costs, there are several honeymoon registries where guests are able to gift the couple with various honeymoon-related experiences. Cash registries allow couples to designate very specific items that are seeking cash gifts for. For couples seeking to incorporate charitable giving into their wedding day, there are charity-based registries where guests can make donations in support of the couple’s organization of choice as their wedding gift to you.

Despite all of the many options for registering, Mr. DrummerBoy and I made the decision to not have a wedding registry. This decision is based on a few things:

  • We already have most of the household items that we need and can afford to store at this time.
  • Although the idea of creating a wishlist of endless gifts sounded exciting at first, when we sat down to do it we felt more obnoxious.
  • We like the idea of our family and friends gifting us with whatever they choose.

We hope this decision does not offend our guests but we feel it is the best decision for us, after all it is their presence on our special day that is the gift that matters most.

Bridgette’s Note: Please revisit this post from newlyweds dishing on the wedding gifts they use and appreciate most. Their responses might surprise you!

What are your thoughts about wedding registries? Would our decision annoy you as a guest?

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  1. Avatar Erica J. says:

    I’ve heard several couples also share that they didn’t enjoy the registry selection process. I guess this is one of those things that one can’t understand until they actually have to do it themself. Best of luck & I’m sure you two will be fine.

  2. Bridgette Bridgette says:

    Thx for the feedback, Erica.

    Nae, I applaud you and Mr. DrummerBoy for doing what works best for you. My fiance and I do plan to go through a somewhat traditional wedding registry process. We haven’t started it yet but I have to admit it seems like more work than I thought it would be largely b/c I have so many other things to do. However, people have already begun to ask about our registries/what we want/need so once it is complete I know I’ll be grateful. Ultimately, it is impossible to please everyone so kudos to all planning couples doing their best to enjoy the process.

  3. Nae, Im glad you touched on this subject..I myself was thinking that maybe we shouldn’t do a registry only because we have lived together for several years and as you stated before about storage and having what you needed now was just fine. I was thinking of maybe doing a honeyfund or some kind of cash gift only request.. (I know that may sound a bit harsh) but i dont really need another blender or crystal vase. What are your suggestions on that???

  4. Bridgette Bridgette says:

    @Latira – Best wishes on your pending marriage and thanks for stopping by Triple B! I’m not sure if your question was posed to Nae directly or not but I wanted to offer my two cents. There are a plethora of practical items to include in a registry besides vases and blenders. I highly suggest you research or Modern couples are including experiences like cooking classes, techy items like electronics (my fiance is excited about this) and more! And you mentioned Honeyfund…Chk out this post for the complete 411 on honeymoon registries:

  5. Avatar Zenobia Hatcher-Wilson says:

    I see registries as a guide to help guests know what a couple wants/needs so no registry will not help the guests who actually use them for the couple; you will probably still get the question of what do you want from some people because they are so accustomed to using them. But, you do what makes sense to you and the people will follow, trust me! Enjoyed reading about the process you two used to arrive at a decision.

  6. My thoughts exactly…

  7. Nae,
    I think it’s very nice that you aren’t registering for things at a fancy deparent store just for the same of doing so. Having more stuff shouldn’t be the point in life. But, do be prepared to hear, “then what do yall want?” repeatedly. While your close friends and family may be cool with cash gifts, some of your guests may be confused.
    Do consider the ‘experience’ registries. Also, some car dealers let you register for a vehicle so that people can get you a wheel or a windshield or a door! It’s geared toward new college graduates but, can be a boon for anyone in need of new/reliable transport.
    Although its not the traditional route, I love that you and Mr DB came to this decision together and are one accord. I am still striving for that and learning how to negotiate with my beloved so, keep up the good work.

  8. Thank you everyone for your input! We are aware of the different registry alternatives however neither of us were comfortable with those. We made an announcement on our wedding website and solicited our bridal party in spreading the word. We understand that this may not work for everyone but it’s what works best for us ;-)

  9. Love it – Mom…. Do Your Thang :0)

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