Triple B Father’s Day Tribute with Cousin Mars

Tie the Knot Tuesday alum Camille and her dad are all smiles during her reception.

Life teaches valuable lessons. For years I dreaded Father’s Day. It reminded me of a major void in my life. Father’s Day to me was similar to Valentine’s Day for someone who was dumped a week prior. My most valuable Father’s Day  lessons came in the form of nieces and godchildren. They served as my first opportunities to play a parental role. My role wasn’t that of a father, but often not too far off of that course.

So, here’s how life taught me a lesson: As Father’s Day approached one year, and all of the uncomfortable emotions arrived as they usually did, I realized I now have friends that disproved what I previously knew fathers to be. I could no longer claim all fathers were absent. Guess what else happened on this particular Father’s Day. Really…Guess. I received Father’s Day cards. Actually, I received cards and gifts. I had become what I craved for years. I had become that male presence in a child’s life that wasn’t always fun but always supportive and consistent. Down the drain went the argument that a fatherless child couldn’t grow up to be a strong and positive father figure. Maybe you guessed it by now…I began to love Father’s Day. It became a day for me to recognize the good dads, uncles, friends, and godparents in my circle. It also became a day that I was recognized. I was recognized by the children that taught me as much as I taught them. I don’t only salute biological fathers on Father’s Day. I enjoy saluting male members of the village that play a role in raising a child.

After pouring my heart out, I do have some good news for those of you that now realize you didn’t put a fair amount of thought into the Father’s Day gifts for those you’re honoring this weekend. So, Cousin Mars has prepared a Father’s Day Gift Guide for you:

Quality Headphones I like Beats by Dr. Dre Executive Headphones or Bose QuietComfort Acoustic Noise Cancelling 15 Headphones. Either of these should appeal to the father that has to commute on public transportation or enjoys time in his Man Cave. Purchasing quality headphones for a father in your life can keep you on his mind (get it?).

Sexy Night Out Do you remember that restaurant he recently mentioned? Now is a great time to wear your little black dress with those head-turning pumps and treat (even if he insists on paying) that great guy your children call Daddy. Tip – You may need to have the kids stay at grandma’s tonight. (Triple B Budget Tip: To save cash, opt to eat dinner at home and only share dessert — very sexy — during your night out. You’ll still enjoy a grown up date sans the hefty bill.)

Clothing First decide if he would prefer something casual – a pair of always stylish True Religion jeans – or some grown and sexy attire – a Thomas Pink double cuff shirt with a pair of cufflinks that match his personality.

Couples Massage This simply takes a phone call and credit card. First book your appointment, then relax and let the masseuses’ hands do the rest. You and the special father will leave feeling oh so relaxed.

It’s all about details Just a bit of word play. If you can sneak his car keys away from him, Father’s Day is a great time to treat his four-wheeled lady to a full detail. Go all the way – interior and exterior. Don’t forget the smell goods.

Read more from Cousin Mars here.

View more touching images from Camille’s wedding here.

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    Comments

    1. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      Anyone who remotely knows me will say I hold my father (who is now deceased) in the highest regard as a man, husband and father. He taught me things before he passed over 20 years ago that are still guiding me in life today. My confidence as a woman (particularly a darker complexioned one — didn’t understand what a big deal this was until I was grown), my love and appreciation of the arts, my understanding of the importance of book and street smarts — I owe most of this and so much more to my father. However my father never met his own father. He was raised primarily by women. So your statement, “Down the drain went the argument that a fatherless child couldn’t grow up to be a strong and positive father figure…” really hit home for me. Another great post, Mars. Happy Father’s Day.

    2. Anonymous says:

      Another interesting article Mars. It appears you have been an excellent godfather and uncle. Hopefully you will be a biological father one day and I know grandma will be elated to watch the kid/kids so that you and the wife can celebrate Father’s Day any way you wish. Your wife’s mother will be so proud of her son-in-law she will help in any way to make your day special. Mean time, enjoy being a godfather and uncle.

    3. Idismith says:

      My father was always there , accept for when he worked , consistently, three jobs, seemingly everyday. Yet, I didn’t, don,t know who he was. I,m also pretty sure he had no idea who I was, am. He died thirty five years ago. I do think he gave all he had, though, and I really appreciate that, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He taught me to support my family. Since I am gay, that means, that means, to support his family.
      Happy father,s day to all the fathers in my family and to all those who have acted like a father to anyone.

    4. Idismith says:

      My father was always there, except for when he worked, consistently, three jobs, seemingly everyday. Yet, I didn’t, don’t know who he was. I’m also pretty sure he had no idea who I was, am. He died thirty five years ago. I do think he gave all he had, though, and I really appreciate that, yesterday, today and tomorrow. He taught me to support my family. Since I am gay, that means, to support his family.
      Happy father’s day to all the fathers in my family and to all those who have acted like a father to anyone.

    5. Spikesdtr says:

      Sperm donation does not make a father. Being there through all the challenges, high and low, define fatherhood. I have friends that have raised nieces, nephews, cousins as well as biological offspring. They never complain of sacrificing, they do what needs doing. My father was the best, he supported me as an unwed teen and provided for my son materially and lovingly. I told him everything and never did he indicate TMI although in retrospect I recognize it was. It was an honor to bestow his name on my own precious “prince.” RIP “Spike.”

    6. Thanks for the suggestions. I haven’t bought anything yet.

    7. Mars, I love this article and thanks for opening! Looking at the comments, you have clearly touched many of us by sharing your experience. My dad left when I was 4, but it is my mission in life to be the best father to my children. They say those that come from behind often have much to prove, therefore, I have the “biggest” Napoleon complex about being the worlds greatest father!

      Happy Fathers Day to all the dads and dad substitutes out there!!!!

    8. I’m so glad that you had that breakthrough! Any negative cycle can be broken with faith and purposeful action. It’s good that you can enjoy the ‘other’ side of Father’s Day and these are neat-o suggestions. I love that they’re experiences and useful things. Trinkets and tokens are ok sometimes but, I’m sure a brotha appreciates having his whip shined up (You’re the 2nd man to mention this on BBB this week) or a relaxing day with his favorite lady. Keep the columns coming, Mars.

    9. Mrs. Bartlett says:

      Donald I am so touched with your comments. You make me proud. I love your spirit and I am so proud of the father you are. Not holding bitterness and resentment against your father is allowing you a happier life. Your children are blessed to have you as a father. Happy Father’s Day!

      Love you,
      Mrs. Bartlett

    10. Cousin Mars says:

      Thank you for the comments. I’m happy to see this post was appreciated. I thought about pulling this post back, but I had already submitted it & Bridgette runs a tight ship. By the way, I don’t mind accepting any of the gift suggestions…I’m just throwing it out there (lol).
      @Rhonda – Yup, negative cycles can be broken.
      @Don P – You may have already learned what I have – sometimes a father’s disappearing act is the best gift to us. I don’t know your circumstances, but just thought I’d share.
      @Spikesdtr – You’re proof that MEMORIES DON’T LEAVE LIKE PEOPLE DO. The fond memories of your father will forever be with you…that is beautiful.
      @Idismith – Finding work/life balance can be difficult (maybe even more difficult 35yrs ago). Over three decades removed from the physical form and he is still inspiring you to touch others…AMAZING!
      @Anon – Thanks for the kind words. I’m now sitting here with a Kool-Aid smile.
      @Bridgette – Wow! Thanks for sharing. Although obvious, I’ll say it anyway – Your pops is bragging about you…please know this.

    11. Brandon says:

      My children have taught me everything about fatherhood. However I did learn early from my father that not only did I not want be like him, I also knew the impact of an absent father on a child. I will always be there for my children. I am not really moved by father’s day because being a father is who I am so I don’t necessarily need recognition. Honestly I’d much rather that “A” or that cleaned room without me having to remind you or simply you doing your best. I’d also settle for that 40 point game. lol With that said, I would love to feel, see and enjoy the woman that “INSPIRED” me to have children because I see their mother every single day.

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