Marriage Matters Monday – Negative Folks Go Thatta Way!

My intention today was to share the below video Marriage Is… by The Social Series that was brought to my attention by Triple B friends Black & Married with Kids. The Social Series also produced this moving video on fatherhood so I was anxious to see their latest work. Marriage Is… doesn’t disappoint. Don’t believe me, just watch:

Isn’t the above video inspiring, uplifting, heartwarming and [insert another positive adjective here]? I especially appreciate the inclusion of the widows because it beautifully shows what “’til death do us part” means. Sure, we have no idea whether or not all the couples included are the real deal. Some might just be “faking the funk”. No amount of vetting and discernment on the part of the director could prevent this. And no, not all marriages last. Most grown-ups are well aware of these facts.

However, upon reading the comments on this same video on another popular site, my suspicions were confirmed. There are a lot of miserable people in the world. Check out a snippet of what brought me to this conclusion:

  • Whenever I hear of a long marriage, I think…there is someone (or both) who has put up with a lot of pain and heartache. In most cases, one member of the couple has tolerated things that most of us would not.
  • I thank them for that Disney moment, but the reality of marriage is perpetual disarray and boredom.
  • I have been married four times and was gloriously happy for the first three to four years. THEN the real deal began. I met a woman at the hospital who was celebrating her 50th anniversary that day. She said that she wished she had left her husband 48 years ago.

Oy vey. Rather than bore you with a bunch of trite sayings like “Misery loves company” and such, I just want to share that being engaged has revealed to me how important it is not to believe the hype. [Que Public Enemy.] One person’s marriage and celebration of that marriage can bring out some ugly parts in otherwise pleasant people. I’ve had people tell me I shouldn’t go into debt for one day after asking how my wedding planning is going (for the record, I’m not but I always thank them for their concern) to several other unsolicited bits of advice that would make most cringe. There will always be naysayers to question every major decision in life we make – and thank goodness for them; they help build character — but they shouldn’t be given too much brain space.

I look forward to enjoying marital bliss (and the disappointments, unexpected twists and turns and hard, hard work that our marriage will inevitably bring) with Mr. TK for a long, long time. Many thanks from Triple B to Sabrina Thompson for this sincere piece of work and even for the cynics who just can’t handle the bliss!

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    Comments

    1. This is such a beautiful video!

    2. Girl Bye! Haters gonna hate! They can’t help it. LOL! Do you and enjoy every minute of your wedding planning and your wedding day. As far as this video goes, I have one word: BEAUTIFUL! (And I’m divorced.)

    3. OMG! LOVE this video! So sad that people could hate on it oike that.

    4. Thanks for commenting, all. @Shanice – I particularly appreciate your comment. A good portion of the marriage Debbie Downers I’ve come across have been married and a significant number of the genuinely encouraging folks have been divorced. As always, I appreciate the community that Triple B is building.

    5. Ebon Charles says:

      Everything requires balance, and within balance there is balance. Therefore, you have to have polar opposites to everything that exists. When applying that idea to people it may explain why human beings have such a broad spectrum. People have to have different shapes, different colors, different physics and of course different ideas. Problems arise when people impose their ideas on others. Everyone has a different walk, a different idea, but life is what you make it. When applying these ideas to marriage, I’ve witnessed the same thing. It is what you make it. You have marriages that will flourish and last forever. Yet you have some that didn’t, don’t, or won’t last for 24 hours. It is what you make it, as is life. As I think these thoughts and think about people and the goodness, sincerity, strength, and durability of specific people, then I can champion their choices and celebrate the union of a friend that has chosen his/her partner for life. Naysayers will always be around for any subject, but so will the sayers that say yes. Congratulations to all those that have found that person that they can spend the rest of their lives with. Shout out to Bridgette & George. I’m lookin forward to celebrating on October 19, 2013. #theroyallwedding

    6. I understand your post, and I agree, but I do think it’s wise advice to not go into debt for the wedding though :) We got married Aug. 10 and went to Hawaii the next day, and I’m so glad that God enabled us to be able to pay for everything by the day of the wedding…

    7. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      @Ebon – Um, let’s just say I want to print your comment out and keep it in my scrapbook with other words that have touched me throughout my life. Thanks so much, bro. See ya soon. ;-)

      @Jackie – Anyone who remotely knows me and/or follows Triple B is well aware that I am definitely not a proponent for anyone going into debt for a wedding. In fact, I’ve even been accused of preaching “budget this and budget that” too much on this site. There is a distinct difference between someone genuinely caring about the financial well-being of me and Mr. TK and those who are simply being nosy. The folks I referenced in my post fall in the latter category. What they really want to ask is, ‘How are you paying for this?’ and that is none of their business. Congrats on being able to pay for your big day by the end of your wedding. Mr. TK and I are on target to do the same. I hope you enjoyed the video!

    8. Okay, I get what you’re saying now:)

    9. Also, incidentally, if you feel like it, check out a post I just wrote a post entitled “10 Tips on How to Have a Wedding for 200 people for LESS than $12,000…” Let me know your thoughts too since you’re the expert :)

    10. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      @Jackie – That is impressive! I will definitely check out your post and comment. CONGRATS to you on your new union.

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