The Road to Mrs. – Choosing My Wedding Party

Triple B's resident bride-to-be and her maid of honor, Heather!

A year ago, Leonard and I packed up and moved to Los Angeles. With no friends or family in town we spent most of our time together and became best friends. So when we got engaged, my initial thought was this day should be about us and us alone…no wedding party (yes, my narcissism flared up). With my wedding being small and intimate, it was already the case that everyone there was special to us. All of my friends would be traveling to LA and I didn’t want to burden them with the additional cost associated with being a bridesmaid. It was Leonard who convinced me otherwise. He had already decided that he wanted to have his lifelong friends at his side. They’d all been best friends since grade school and shared all of their life experiences together. To him, this was no exception.

Once we decided on having a wedding party it really made me think about my relationships. Since graduating from high school I’ve lived in five cities. I enjoyed the freedom and courage I had to just pack up and leave once a degree was finished or a new job called. But I also struggled with leaving the villages I created in all of those places. In every city I lived in, I had a group of friends who had become my family. We laughed, cried, and enjoyed each other. We slept at each other’s houses, knew each other’s families, shared each other’s clothes, and kept each other’s secrets. So at the end of my time in that city it was hard to leave because I knew those relationships would not be the same. I often struggle with that, and find myself sad thinking about relationships that once was. But I also know that true friendships are in the heart, so while the day to day interactions may not be there, you can never take someone out of your heart once you’ve invited them in and they’ve made themselves comfy.

So as I reminisced about my life I thought about the people who I experienced most of it with. Growing up in Kansas City then off to Warrensburg. Those wild and crazy days in Tallahassee that we are forbidden to speak of.  Those long summer nights in St. Louis and the grown and sexy times in Houston. And I realized that there were two people who knew me and were there for me throughout all of those chapters. My friend of 20 plus years, Heather, and my cousin and friend from birth, Jana.  They know my experiences and know the person I’ve become because of them. They’ve also gotten to know and love Leonard and acknowledge that he is a perfect match for me.  He also likes them, which makes life easy.

They’ve promised to help in whatever way possible, and I’ve promised not to become a bridezilla. During this process I expect them to have opinions and call me out, but I know it will be from a place of love. Heather will be my practical one, and Jana will be my muscle. With these two by my side, my wedding should go off without a hitch and we’ll have a great time in the process.  But first things first, we need to decide on their dress!

Read Nicole’s last Road to Mrs. post about selecting her own wedding gown (with Heather and Jana’s help of course!) here.

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    Comments

    1. There’s nothing like genuine sisterhood that can last the test of time. Cherish this.

    2. I enjoy reading your post each week. It seem like your wedding planning is going so smooth. Good luck!

    3. Nicole Wagner says:

      Thanks Bianca, I certainly do! I’m an only child, so my friends are my family.

      Thanks for reading and enjoying my post. My wedding planning is going very smooth and I’m having a blast.

    4. SpikesDtr says:

      I also enjoy reading your posts, your writing is very poignant. Your wedding and marriage will be very special, I’m sure. You now have the women of Triple B as sisters, we are family.

    5. Hi boo! What a sweet post. I’m honored to be your MOH, and can’t wait to be at your side in July. Moreover, I can’t wait to celebrate and be there after that one fun day when life is back to normal. To me, that’s when the real MOH work comes to play through prayer, support, side eyes when you’re wrong, and snaps when you’re right. Love you and Debo, and am here for you today and for another 20+ years! Woot, woot!

    6. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      @SD – “You now have the women of Triple B as sisters, we are family.” <--- Yes! @Heather - "I can’t wait to celebrate and be there after that one fun day when life is back to normal. To me, that’s when the real MOH work comes to play through prayer, support, side eyes when you’re wrong, and snaps when you’re right." <--- You get it! @Everyone - Thanks for commenting and sharing!

    7. Nicole Wagner says:

      I truly appreciate all the love, support and encouragement from the Triple B sisters. I’m gaining valuable knowledge and so many additional family members – it’s the best!

      Heather, hoping to get more snaps than side eyes. Pray for me.

    8. Aunt Zee says:

      I know you will not regret having your friends as bridal attendants. I remember a similar dilemma when making wedding plans after having lived in several cities and having friends in all. I chose to include a sister, a friend from college and a friend from grad school. It was wonderful then and I have the memories to recall the time. Besides, we learned in Girl Scouts to “Make new friends but keep the old; one is silver and the other gold.”

      I enjoyed reading your post. Best wishes!!

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