Bridgette’s Pick of the Week – Should Couples Pick and Choose Which Children are Invited to Their Wedding?

children at weddings black bridal bliss
Hola! I recently discovered an intriguing article over at MadameNoir.com as it was getting quite a bit of buzz on Facebook. Said article weighed the pros an cons of have an adult-only wedding while allowing select children to attend. It caused a bona fide fury both on the blog and on popular social media platforms. Thus, I really want to know where the Triple B family stands on this. Take a read and then leave a candid comment with your thoughts.

Since day one, I knew that a “child-free” wedding wasn’t an option for me. For one, I like the idea of my future stepdaughter having some people her age to socialize with during the reception. And secondly, two of my younger cousins—who are nine and ten going on sixty-nine and seventy—would never forgive me if I told their grandma to leave them home (I promise, they’re like miniature church mothers). And this is kind of where the problems begin.

Both my fiancé and I have a ton of children in our families, so we compiled a list of the children who we absolutely want to be present on our big day. His list is comprised of his nieces and nephews. Almost all of the children on my list belong to my first cousins. Unfortunately, there are so many children belonging to other relatives who did not make the list. I realize that inviting parents while failing to invite their children is a sensitive subject. I imagine that things get even trickier when you have to tell some parents, “No, it’s not an ‘adults only’ wedding, but your children are not invited.” And I mean really, how do you play the “you’re in, you’re out” game with a bunch of kids without feeling like a petty Regina George?

I thought that I could get some advice from my dad, who is almost always on my side, but he was surprisingly firm in his beliefs about inviting parents while banning their children from social functions.

“If someone invited me somewhere, and my babies couldn’t go I stayed my butt home,” he boldly stated.

And I’m sure there are some parents who feel the same way that he does. I’ve heard horror stories about people throwing fits about their children not being welcome at wedding receptions—not to mention the recent situation where a wedding guest was invoiced by a bride who held a kid-free wedding after pulling a no-call, no-show on the day of the ceremony because her babysitter cancelled. However, I also realize that allowing every single guest to bring their children along just to appease everybody and their mamas could get chaotic (and expensive) fast.

*Read the rest of this piece here.

Read more on Triple B relating to this controversial topic here.

[Image from Shutterstock.]

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    Comments

    1. Your wedding, your rules. I get where both sides are coming from but ultimately a wedding is a celebration of the union of two people who may not share all the same views or opinions as you. Would you go to someone’s home for a dinner party and complain to them that the steak wasn’t prepared the way you like it? The day isn’t about you, it is about the couple taking those (very serious) vows. You are invited as a guest to uplift, support and witness them embarking on a very important step in their lives; not to criticize how they carried it out. Lastly, an invitation is not a mandate. You have every right to decline if you feel slighted bc your children weren’t invited.

    2. SpikesDtr says:

      Well stated, Yolanda.

    3. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      What Yolanda said…

    4. God bless these poor souls who want to please everyone except themselves on their wedding day. I’m no advocate of blind self-interest but, on that day, bridal (and groomal) bliss matter! So many concessions are made in the name of preserving family harmony and that’s a mature approach. But, if you won’t come to my party unless your 18 month old I’ve never met is also invited, it may be better for you to stay home. After all, this is not the guests’ day.
      Love & light to all.

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