Marriage Matters Monday: Who Are You Inviting to Your Wedding?

wedding-guest list tips black bridal bliss - 11.30.15
As we enter engagement season (late-November through mid-February), hundreds of newcomers will join the Black Bridal Bliss family — welcome! During the coming weeks and months, many of you will be determining the type of nuptials you want to have and much of this rest on the amount of guests you’ll invite.

Yep. The dreaded wedding guest list. No need to sugarcoat it. The process is daunting. Unless you and your partner elope or opt to have a small civil ceremony — which can be quite chic (!), you will likely lose a little (or a lot of) sleep thinking about your guest list choices. Here are three quick tips to help you navigate this process:

1 – Invite people to your wedding who you actually care about and that you believe have mutual feelings for you and your soon-to-be spouse. This might seem like a no-brainer but it is not. Many folks invite distant co-workers, neighbors or relatives to their wedding out of perceived obligation. “If I don’t invite my boss, he or she will feel slighted because I’m inviting others in our office.” Um, your boss will be fine sans invitation. He or she will respect you more in the long run for maintaining your convictions.

2 – Invite people who genuinely want to see your union flourish. Another seemingly simple one but you would be surprised how often people attend weddings who really do not believe in the couple taking the vows. It is sad, really. For too many, weddings have become a form of entertainment (dancing, drinks, food, mingling, meeting new people) thus some guests are spectators and have no real vested interest in the couple saying I Do. You do not need these folks at your wedding.

3 – Invite people who will hold you accountable to your vows. Whether they’re family or friends, you want those individuals who will display that tough love and tell you when you need to apologize, be patient, forgive, etc. if you come running to them with a sob story about your marriage. These are the trusted loved ones who don’t meddle or judge yet are simply a phone call, text message or email away should you need a listening ear. These people are rare so do not take them for granted.

*BONUS – As a guest at a wedding, even if or rather especially if, you’re already married, remember the above tips and act accordingly.

**EDITOR’S NOTE (Because there’s always a caveat, right?) – For those who have parents footing a significant portion of the wedding bill, know that their desires on who receives an invite are valid. Within reason, you and your beloved should try to oblige — and happily. For my own nuptials two years ago, my mother wanted to invite a few people who probably would not have made my guest list without her suggestion. However, we were able to include said guests — without going over budget. My mother explained, “Bridge, these are people who bought Girl Scout cookies and dance recital tickets from you, were there for me when your father died, have consistently prayed for you and your brother without me having to ask.” She continued, “I want them to meet the man you’re marrying.” And you know what? I’m so thankful she made that plea because I truly believe those same people are still praying for me and now my husband, too.

What tips do you have for compiling a wedding guest list? Share them in the comments below.

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    Comments

    1. I loved this post. Every engaged couple planning a wedding should read this.

    2. This is great advice bc I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been invited to a wedding or baby shower or housewarming by people who I know only think they’re getting a good gift from me. Marriage just isn’t sacred to lot of people anymore. Its kinda sad.

    3. SpikesDtr says:

      Good info to have while wedding planning.

    4. Anonymous says:

      Very good article.

    5. Bridgette Bridgette says:

      Thank you for the feedback, all. @Yolanda – I agree that some couples look at their wedding day solely as an opportunity to ask for gifts. Hopefully this post will help someone see the (much) bigger picture.

    6. Thank you so much for this article, the guest list is my biggest obstacle so far in my planning process. This has definitely given me a new perspective.

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