Bridgette’s Pick of the Week: A Case of the Bridesmaid Blues

Where My Girls At? Blissful bride Alexis Stoudemire flanked by her beautiful bridal party.

#BridesmaidGoals Blissful bride Alexis Stoudemire flanked by her beautiful bridal party.

It has been a minute since we covered bridesmaids on Triple B, so I thought today was a great time to revisit them. Okay, lemme come clean: I recently uncovered a vent from a bridesmaid on social media and had to discuss it with you all. Said bridesmaid, let’s call her Tara, is having a major dilemma due to her engaged friend’s requests for her wedding. Tara is presently one of six bridesmaids and she’s watching her coins like a hawk to get in better financial health. She and the bride-to-be are distant friends from high school. The bride’s requests include:

  • Paying for a ~$350 bridesmaid dress (before alterations)
  • Paying for a catered bridal shower that will host ~100 guests
  • Paying for bridal shower favors at $40 per guest


Are people really inviting 100+ folks to bridal showers these days? (Full Disclosure: My own bridal shower was potluck style and I requested that my bridal party pick out their own dresses, I just gave them my color preference.) What types of favors cost forty bucks her person…for a bridal shower? I’ve interviewed hundreds of brides during the course of my career, including a few multi-millionaires and these numbers still seem oddly high.

Anyhoo, here’s the advice I gave Tara:

“Tell her you have to respectfully decline being a bridesmaid in her wedding. If you can (and genuinely want to) suggest that you be a hostess or some such. Believe it or not, she will likely appreciate you being woman enough to tell her now rather than not being 100% committed later. Trust me, she has a lot of other stuff on her plate. If she doesn’t appreciate your transparency, it probably is an indication of a bigger conversation needed surrounding your friendship.”

What do you think about the suggestions (based on limited background info) I gave Tara? Agree or disagree? What would you have added? For those of you who have had and/or been in a wedding in the past year, do these bridal shower-related costs seem a tad bit high or is it more the norm than I realized?

Please sound-off in the comments with your feedback.

Check out my last Pick of the Week here.

*Join Triple B in NYC on April 30th for an exciting Black Bridal Bliss event!*

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  1. Avatar LaTrisha says:

    100 people at a bridal shower? How many people are going to be invited to the wedding? Sheesh.

  2. The bride is stealing joy from the bridesmaids. It sounds like she has already planned her own shower. I have to hope she’s very young and could use the advice of a mother/aunt figure on how to be a gracious bride. Or, she’s not interested in being one because she may be more about the wedding than the marriage. Tara needs to run from this situation as quickly as she can…arms flailing…shouting “Danger, Will Robinson, danger!” (Sorry for the nerdy sci-fi reference but I gotta have a little fun with it.)

  3. Bridgette Bridgette says:

    @LaTrisha – Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

    @Ronda – Spot on! LOL @ “Danger, Will Robinson, danger!”

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