It has been a minute since we covered bridesmaids on Triple B, so I thought today was a great time to revisit them. Okay, lemme come clean: I recently uncovered a vent from a bridesmaid on social media and had to discuss it with you all. Said bridesmaid, let’s call her Tara, is having a major dilemma due to her engaged friend’s requests for her wedding. Tara is presently one of six bridesmaids and she’s watching her coins like a hawk to get in better financial health. She and the bride-to-be are distant friends from high school. The bride’s requests include:
- Paying for a ~$350 bridesmaid dress (before alterations)
- Paying for a catered bridal shower that will host ~100 guests
- Paying for bridal shower favors at $40 per guest
Are people really inviting 100+ folks to bridal showers these days? (Full Disclosure: My own bridal shower was potluck style and I requested that my bridal party pick out their own dresses, I just gave them my color preference.) What types of favors cost forty bucks her person…for a bridal shower? I’ve interviewed hundreds of brides during the course of my career, including a few multi-millionaires and these numbers still seem oddly high.
Anyhoo, here’s the advice I gave Tara:
“Tell her you have to respectfully decline being a bridesmaid in her wedding. If you can (and genuinely want to) suggest that you be a hostess or some such. Believe it or not, she will likely appreciate you being woman enough to tell her now rather than not being 100% committed later. Trust me, she has a lot of other stuff on her plate. If she doesn’t appreciate your transparency, it probably is an indication of a bigger conversation needed surrounding your friendship.”
What do you think about the suggestions (based on limited background info) I gave Tara? Agree or disagree? What would you have added? For those of you who have had and/or been in a wedding in the past year, do these bridal shower-related costs seem a tad bit high or is it more the norm than I realized?
Please sound-off in the comments with your feedback.
Check out my last Pick of the Week here.