A couple of months back while having a heart-to-heart with my girlfriend Mo, she said something profound regarding marriage:
“Bridgette, there’s a big difference between being a bride and being a wife.”
My friend dropped this jewel on a Wednesday evening while driving home from work on the George Washington Bridge to her three children and hubby after what I’m sure was a long day at her demanding job. Mo knew as soon as she walked in the door of her house it would be family time: helping with homework, prepping dinner, spending some qt with her husband, etc. so she made time during her commute to drop these sage words on me. This wasn’t some relaxed, casual afternoon of brunch and bellinis. Yet, her wisdom could not have been more poignant.
I’ve been waiting for the right way to share these words of wisdom here with you all. While they seem simple, just a few hours spent on social media reveal that they clearly are not. Most of us have become obsessed with engagement ring selfies, snagging the prefect wedding pics, getting “likes” and “reposts” on said wedding pics (one day I will share with y’all my very personal revelation about wedding photography), reception catering, becoming #honeymoongoals…You get my point. I’m a bridal blogger and I created this platform as a resource for Black brides and to help celebrate Black women getting married, especially since in 2010 when Black Bridal Bliss launched there was so much negative press surrounding women who looked like me and marriage. Even in 2016 I get those harsh reminders that Black Bridal Bliss is still very much needed. I struggle with maintaining a balance of informative and practical with aspirational and pretty. You know, creating a way for #MorningMuses and #MarriageMatters to live together comfortably within the same platform.
The goal for most of us is not to simply get married but to stay married in a happy and healthy union. No? Trust that at three years in I’m still learning and loving my way to creating a path that works for my own marriage to remain healthy and happy. Some days and weeks and months I feel like I’m doing a great job and other times I feel like I suck at this wife thing. That’s the truth. I’m definitely a work in progress–and if we’re truthful, we all are works in progress.
I wish I had a way to wrap this piece up in a nice neat, pretty bow but I do not. LOL. If you take nothing else from this post however, do remember Mo’s mantra about a bride and a wife not being the same. It is an easy yet very important fact to forget.
What are some ways we can encourage each other to remember the differences between the wedding and the marriage in a social media wedding-obsessed society?
Get a full recap of the Black Bridal Bliss Charlotte Date Night Event here!