The Road to Mrs. – First Comes Love…

Black Bridal Bliss resident bride-to-be Keisa is giving the ultimate side-eye to all “When are you guys having a baby?!” questions.

…Then Comes Marriage, Then Comes Baby in the Baby Carriage

For the record, only marriage is coming for me — I’m so not pregnant. I know I’m going to have at least one Facebook message, a couple of phone calls and a few texts from folks who just read the title of this post without reading the post in its entirety. I can guar.an.tee.

Although I am not with child, Beyoncé, my Cousin-in-my-head (because my Daddy, who is Negro probably has folks from Alabama, so we are like kin) recently made the world stop announced to the world that she’s having twins! Baby fever anyone?

For the next however many months, Beyoncé’s womb will be the watercooler conversation of choice. For me, since I announced my engagement, it seems as if engagement = inquiries regarding my future womb activity.  Seriously, for the last 13 months, I have had more conversations involving my plans to have more chilrren.

Family Member/Friend/Co-Worker/Random Facebook Friend-Whom-You-Don’t-Know-Why-You-Are Friends: “Congratulations on your engagement! How exciting!”

Me: “Ye…” (*gets completely cut off in mid response*)

Family Member/Friend/Co-Worker/Random Facebook Friend-Whom-You-Don’t-Know-Why-You-Are Friends: “So when are ya’ll going to start having kids?” Are you going to try right after the wedding? How many kids are you planning to have?

Me: Blank stare.

Getting asked the “when you are going to put your uterus to work” “when are you planning on having kids” question at times makes me feel like I do on the day I go to work with my natural hair blown straight after wearing a twist out all week (“Wow, is that your hair? It’s sooooo long? Can I touch?) You know, those uber awkward question/answer exchanges. I totally get the whole “first comes love, then comes marriage” thing, but, it can be a bit overwhelming.

Being a mother to an 11-year old and soon-to-be bonus Mom to a 13-year-old, the rush to have more babies isn’t actually a rush for me at all. Although I am gracefully approaching 40 in a couple and a half years, and at my recent annual checkup my PCP informed me that she has a contact for an IVF specialist (just in case we have difficulty getting pregnant), we are busy focusing on wedding planning, raising our girls, loving each other and living life!

While I know that we would have the cutest little chocolate drop of baby, honestly, my brain is on overload just dealing with LIFE! Between wedding planning, work, raising our girls, spending time with family, friends and each other, we haven’t exactly developed our timeline for procreation after our upcoming nuptials. I take a lot of comfort knowing that if/when/according to the good Lord’s will our family expands, it will be in the right time, but until then, I will no longer allow myself to feel pressured by discussing the activity of my womb, or lack thereof.

I will however, continue to partake in discussions regarding Beyoncé’s womb, because after all she’s family and all..

Bey is expecting (twins!) but that doesn’t mean I’m in a rush to join her.

Does everyone around you assume you have “baby fever” because you got the guy and the ring?

Check out last week’s Road to Mrs. post here.

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    1. SpikesDtr says:

      When asked about personal matters couldn’t the response be “I’m sorry, that’s such a personal matter I choose not to discuss it with anyone but my husband.” Just a thought, not advice. I really enjoy reading your journey.

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