The Road to Mrs. – Our Wedding Registry Dilemma

Wedding registries can be tremendously helpful and are much needed for many couples. Crate & Barrel, Bloomingdale’s, Target, Amazon and seemingly almost every major retailer and department store have options for couples to create wedding registries. You can even set up a registry where your guests can contribute to helping you get to your honeymoon destination! Long gone are the days of dragging an unenthused groom into Macy’s to register for dinnerware and kitchen appliances since wedding registries can also be completed online, with just click — or two or three. Brides (and grooms, but, definitely brides) can register to their heart’s desire, or at least until the registry is complete a variety of pots and pans, glassware, gold plated, engraved silverware, fancy china, Keurig’s, Vitamix blenders, and luggage. Oh, and then you can ask for gift cards, to just about anywhere in the Universe.

So, how could we possibly be considering not having a wedding registry? Simple. We really don’t need anything Now, let me be clear, we could always use a new blender or a nice set of china, or a super cute pink KitchenAid electric mixer, but these are things that we could easily purchase on our next trip to Tar-shay (Target). For me, I’ve always equated wedding registries to that young couple who may be living in their first home together, not for a couple like us, who will have lived together for almost 3 years by the time we exchange our vows.

I have several guests who after receiving their Save the Date card immediately contacted me to send their regrets, but asked if we were registered so they could still send a gift. Each time I responded with “we aren’t registered and not sure if we are going to register” and based upon the silence and perplexed looks, that answer didn’t seem like the people’s choice.

Maybe I’m looking at this completely the wrong way. One girlfriend told me that if an invited guest can’t attend, having a registry will allow them to gift you with a token of their love in their absence. Very true. However, we can’t seem to find enough items to make a “page 1” of a wedding registry.


I have seen sites that allow guests to donate to a charity of the couples’ choice. That is an option we are considering. Asking for funds to send us on our honeymoon is another widely popular option — but for us, we are going to handle funding our honeymoon and related activities.

The jury is still out on this one. I’m torn because we are grateful that our guests that can attend our wedding are willing to spend their time and money to share with us in our big day — asking for a gift just doesn’t see quite right. However, I understand that our family and friends that are unable to attend, may still want to gift us with something as a token of their love in their absence.

I dunno. Still chewing on this.

Are wedding registries helpful for guests? Should couples ask for gifts or allow their guests to gift as they please?

Check out last week’s Road to Mrs. post here.

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