It is amazing how many presumptive inquiries Mr. DrummerBoy and I began receiving after announcing our engagement. Questions like “Have you picked your colors yet? I like to try and coordinate with the wedding party” and statements like “I hope you’re inviting a good proportion of single men and women so that I can meet someone.” Ummm…Really? Despite these being some of the less subtle inquiries, it became clear that given our chosen budget and venue not all who expected invites would make the final guest list. Many websites offer several tips and strategies for deciding who to invite like this handy flowchart above Triple B posted on their Facebook page last year.
Although helpful, ultimately the bride and groom have to decide who they want to share the day with. For Mr. Drummer Boy and I, we decided that this includes his family (mostly aunts, uncles and close first cousins), my family (all 10 of them), several of my close friends (I am a social butterfly.) and a handful of his friends.
The next question was how to handle the infamous +1’s? In addition to having an adult-only reception, we decided that we would limit +1’s to those guests in known long-term relationships. Perhaps not in line with etiquette, it just didn’t seem right having strangers (read: random dates) attend such an intimate event when we are unable to extend an invitation to several family members and friends.
Once our list was finalized (with about 150 people), I was still a little uneasy about the fact that there were several people who I knew would love to celebrate with us and have been very supportive throughout our relationship. So once again throwing etiquette to the wind, I made the decision to invite a few uninvited wedding guests to my bridal shower explaining our dilemma. I’m happy to report that these invitations were met with genuine excitement and understanding. Next up, invitation drama…stay tuned!
How did you make decisions around your guest list? Did you follow etiquette or rebel like us?