Triple B has a treat for you! BlackBridalBliss.com is launching a brand new “column” called, The Newlywed Chronicles! That’s right…And last week’s Tie the Knot Tuesday bride L’Oreal Thompson Payton will be kicking off this exciting monthly feature. Read up and be sure to show her some love in the comments. (All feedback — good, bad or indifferent is welcomed as long as it is respectful.) Enjoy!
When I woke up the morning after saying “I do,” I expected to feel different. I expected to automatically feel married.
After all, my husband and I had just professed our undying love for each other in front of about 135 of our closest family members and friends. We took a ton of pretty pictures and danced the night away, but, alas, nothing had really changed … or had it? It’s kind of like waking up the morning of your birthday … you feel pretty much the same as you did the day before, yet everyone keeps asking you: “Sooo, how does it feel?” Spoiler alert: Being married feels pretty much the same as being engaged. You know you’re going to spend the rest of your life with this one person.
There’s no grand awakening or “aha!” moment as Oprah would say…at least, there wasn’t for me. I’m still waiting to feel married, but maybe it takes some time? I mean, we’ve only married for four months now, so maybe I’m just being a bit impatient. Maybe it takes a few months or even years to really sink in? Perhaps it won’t hit me until we have kids? Or some other life-altering event takes place? For a while, I thought taking my husband’s last name would make our marriage “feel more real.”
But, alas, being Mrs. Payton feels about the same as being Ms. Thompson (although sometimes I forget to answer to my new name and/or I accidentally refer to myself by my maiden name … oops!).
There’s a reason chick flicks end with the couple getting married and living “happily ever after” – because the everyday monotony of married life doesn’t make for a Hollywood blockbuster.
“Hey, what do you want for dinner?”
“I don’t know. You?”
“I don’t know.”
But what I will say is marriage feels comfortable. There’s a sense of security knowing that Jeff is my husband and he will always be there … for better or worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. There aren’t fireworks every day. This isn’t to say you should ever stop “trying” or putting forth effort into the relationship. But it’s about the ability to lounge around in my yoga pants all day with mismatched socks and my hair looking a hot mess and knowing that he’s going to be there.
Or having a complete toddler-type tantrum because I’m hangry (a lethal combination of hungry and angry) and knowing he still loves me. Or even when I’m being an absolute crazy person (#ScorpioProblems), it’s knowing he still chose me. Marriage is like wrapping yourself up in your favorite sweatshirt for a lifetime of love.
And, if that’s what marriage feels like, then that sounds good to me.
When did you first “feel” married? Let me know in the comments!
An aspiring Disney princess, L’Oreal Thompson Payton said “I do” to her Prince Charming in November 2014. When she’s not busy writing, L’Oreal enjoys reading, dancing to Beyoncé and devouring delicious cupcakes. Follow more of her newlywed and everyday adventures on Instagram and her blog, LTintheCity.com.