She’s back! Check out this week’s installment of The Road to Mrs. with our resident bride-to-be, Keisa:
On most days, I’m unequivocally a Type A personality. I’m the organizer, the planner, the keeper of all things – that girl. However, when my fiancé asked me to describe my vision of my marriage proposal, I didn’t know what I wanted. I knew what I didn’t want – a proposal extravaganza. The staged photog hiding behind some tree capturing the unassuming me and super ugly cry when my man drops to one knee and pops the question. Yikes! I just knew that I wouldn’t be able to handle that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen beautifully, planned, well-thought out proposals, but I knew that when my time came, I wanted something intimate, only to be shared between my fiancé and I.
My fiancé swore, I mean, made a huge deal about how he would never, eva, eva, propose to me on a holiday or any day when a proposal would be expected. So, you can imagine how completely shocked I was to be waken out of my sleep (a good, deep sleep) to be proposed to early on Christmas morning. I was excited and completely surprised that I was part of the “I got engaged on Christmas” group, especially when my fiancé was so against a holiday proposal. Luckily for me, I had gotten my nails done a few days before Christmas, so my ring selfies were on point! I had my intimate proposal, my vintage rose gold ring and I was off to the races, contacting my family and closest friends to share the good news.
Later that Christmas Day, we traveled to Kansas City to visit my family and immediately after I shared the news of our engagement, the questions began. First, “How did he propose?” Second, “Do you have a wedding date?” A wedding date?!? What? Why would I have a date? Am I supposed to have a date? I mean, I’ve been engaged for 3 hours. I’m still getting adjusted to having this shiny piece of jewelry on my left hand. I started panicking. I felt pressured. Do I need to select my bridal party? Start dress shopping tomorrow as soon as stores open? I was completely overwhelmed.
Despite my feelings of anxiety, I was excited. I was able to celebrate this new chapter of life with family and some of my oldest and closet friends. I did go dress shopping. I did begin to think about who I would select to be my bridesmaids. I did succumb to the pressure that I was allowing others to place on me.
We celebrated and began preliminary wedding planning the rest of the weekend. When I returned back to St. Louis, I continued to fuel my anxiety–I purchased several bridal magazines, started following anything bridal-related on Instagram and Facebook, and binged watched reruns of TLC’s “Four Weddings” and “Say Yes to the Dress”. I was burnt out…and I had only been engaged for 3 days!
So, my fiancé and I had a talk. We decided that we weren’t in any rush. We knew we were going to get married and we would get married when the time was right for us. I wanted to enjoy my wedding planning process. I wanted to enjoy being engaged – being a “fiancée” and having a “fiancé”. I wanted time to plan the wedding that was going to make us happy and not financially strapped! After all, the wedding is just one day, while our marriage is forever. We wanted to make sure that our “forever” wasn’t compromised by any undue stress of prematurely planning a wedding.
A week after I was engaged, I decided that I would become a 90 day fiancée. I promised myself that I would not stress about the wedding, and certainly not begin planning the wedding. I gave myself 90 days to just enjoy our moment; to bask in the joy of being engaged and more in love.
Let the countdown begin!
What are your thoughts about delaying wedding planning for a specified amount of time? No way or absolutely necessary?
Keisa, kudos to you and Vlad for refocusing and getting back to the most important people on this journey. Once the dust has settled a bit, you’ll be able to make much more informed decisions. Your future self will thank you. ;-) Continue to enjoy YOUR bridal bliss!
The 90 day fiancee idea is so very smart! Even smarter is the decision to take the time to plan the wedding that was going to make you happy and not financially strapped. I’d say the two of you are on the way to a wonderful life.
Such a great idea to just relax and enjoy being engaged before the preplanning start. Love how you determined that you will be doing it your way. You are going to be fine…….
Thank you SpikesDTR and Anonymous! It is so easy to lose sight of what’s really important!
You know it took me a year and some change to start committing to my wedding day. Here are my top 5 suggestions… 1. Enjoy saying I am engaged. Flash that pretty smile to match that ring. 2. Note little things you like and keep an informal running list. 3. STAY AWAY FROM PINTEREST during these 90 days, it will drive you batsh*t crazy with wedding theme ideas. 4. Smile and kiss your man every morning and night at least!
Germaine, thank you for these gems!!!!
Keep the comments coming, folx!