Okay, I have to admit this is a tough one. I may lose my Dude Card for this post, but HEY…this is for Triple B. Popping the big question takes a BIG pair (you know what I mean). Please understand that most men take the fiancee-to-be, her friends and family, his friends and family, and finances (depending on the dude, of course) into consideration prior to Popping the BIG QUESTION.

Men have learned that almost immediately after they propose, women notify friends and family of all the details. All the details. ALL THE DETAILS. Do you get my point? Many guys feel they must conjure up a plan that sounds great for that first phone call (and the million to follow). Type of ring, stone, metal and inscription are all part of the details that we know will be questioned by Lisa, Angela, Pamela and Renee.

Wait, that’s not all. Guys also often spend plenty of time planning the how. The how includes the set-up, ambiance, wording, venue, and company/participants. He still isn’t done. Many guys follow the tradition of seeking the parents’ (or equivalent) approval prior to asking the Big Question. Only after everything that has been mentioned is checked off, does the juicy stuff come. Yup, only at this point do we start questioning everything else. Am I truly finished running around? Even the guys that have never run the streets spend time on this one. Can I really deal with all of her quirks? Is she going to change after marriage? Can I tolerate her family? Can she really tolerate me? And finally, the question that causes most of the stress. I’m talking about the question that often delays and causes rescheduling of the proposal. Are you ready for the question? Drum roll please.

How do I make this proposal more special than she ever imagined? Answering this question can take plenty of time, energy, thought, and advice. Often relatives and/or friends are consulted.

Cousin Mars is about to open up…slightly. My proposal took eight months to plan. It was calculated, yet allowed me to improvise. Only she and I were present, but the proposal included several of our relatives (two of which have passed on). I followed the tradition of seeking her parents’ permission and approval. Although there was almost no doubt that my proposal would be accepted, I was sweating as if I had just played LeBron one-on-one.

My one sentence answer to the question: What goes through a man’s mind before he proposes, would have to be:

Every and anything that can positively impact what will probably be one of the most memorable days in the life of the woman he loves enough to forever alter his life.

Read past posts from Cousin Mars here. Have a question you’re anxious for Mars to tackle? Leave a comment below or send an email to [email protected]!