Couple: Dana & Donald
Wedding Date: September 18, 2005
Wedding Location: A Carnival Cruise Ship, Miami, FL
Children: Daphne, 4 and Dax, 2
DANA SAYS:
Time to Leave the Nest
One challenge Donald and I had early in our marriage was my father not truly accepting it. Although he gave me away during my wedding ceremony, he hadn’t really let me go as his little girl. During my first year of marriage I had a rough relationship with my parents. It felt like there was a battle between my father and my husband. They wanted me to pick who the man was in my life. It eventually worked itself out. This challenge tested our marriage and our united front.
Mommy Knows Best
It is still crazy to me that I am somebody’s mother. I am responsible for another life…two of them! Everything I do is to make their lives better — better than I had. Being a mother is something that I would never trade, but it did make me grow up faster than I would have otherwise.
Words to Live By
The most sound marriage advice I was given was to enjoy each other for as long as you can because you two made the commitment to be with each other until death do you part. Enjoy life together as much as possible. Enjoy your moments.
Dana’s favorite wedding ceremony memory: I cried hysterically while saying my vows…I couldn’t stop. I had snot coming out of my nose. I couldn’t stop crying!
DONALD SAYS:
Never a Dull Moment
I thought marriage would be boring and I’d have to give up much of what I enjoyed. Fortunately I realized that isn’t the case. Because we both want to make the other as happy as possible, we are willing to do things that the other enjoys. This has worked both ways. I try my best to make sure Dana is smiling and happy. I can honestly say she tries as hard, if not harder. What I once thought was happiness is a far second place to what I now know happiness to be.
Surprise of My Life
Children have been the most pleasant surprise of our marriage. There are many nuances that come with being a parent. None of which I could have predicted or ever imagined. We knew that we wanted to have kids. We had discussions about being parents, but I never really thought that I could be a parent. It sounds nuts to me now, but I never expected that I would have kids until I actually had kids.
Say No to Drama
The soundest advice given to me regarding marriage has been a mantra that we kind of live by. It was given to me by a cousin. The mantra is “Love is not drama.” I interpret this to mean that a lot of the [emotions] people label as love is in actuality just nonsense. However, love is simple. So, as a result we try to keep our relationship just that way.
Donald’s favorite wedding reception memory: We had a lot of people speak at our reception. This included a bunch of people that are normally super shy – so we wouldn’t have guessed that they would speak. That was a pretty cool memory — having so many people that cared. Particularly my boy Bobby, who is a relatively quiet and shy dude but gave a speech about being present the day Dana and I met.
*BONUS* Donald’s advice for those considering saying “I do”: I would like to give the Triple B audience considering marriage the following advice: Disregard the [negative] statistics and thought that marriage is a diminishing institution. Disregard all of that. It’s about your individual marriage. So, if you have what it takes and you truly want it…You can make it happen.
Share your thoughts on Dana and Donald’s interview below! Read previous Marriage Matters features here.
[Reporting by Cousin Mars.]
“Love is not drama,” is excellent advice. DO NOT WATCH DRAMATIC REALITY SHOWS!!! Also, the bible is a good manual for marriage. It states that you leave your mother and father to become a spouse, paraphrasing of course. The children are beautiful and exude happiness. Abundant blessings.
@SpikesDtr – Yes, yes and yes. As always, thanks for leaving feedback. You are so appreciated!
The kids cooking – I’m in love with them. This was a great read. I’ve heard it is often difficult for fathers to accept their “little girl” having another man taking the role that once belonged to them (not really the same role, but apparently some fathers see it that way).
Okay those little cutie pies just made my entire DAY and it is only noon. ADORABLE! Great article BBB. Many God continue to bless this union.
My fondest memory of doing this interview was hearing both of them recount the snot story (really…it was). It is clear this couple often laughs together. How can you not root for them after seeing that picture of the kids?
@Erica J – Re: Fathers letting “go” of their newly married daughters…Agreed. By the same token, I’ve witnessed similiar scenarios with mothers and their sons…
@DC PYT – LOL, I’m glad Triple B could make your day.
@Mars – That snot story is AWESOME! Great reporting, cuz.
Hi Donald,
I was so happy to see you and your lovely wife (whom I never met) featured here today. I am so proud of you. Enjoyed reading your story but I see some things have not changed, like your sense of humor. The children are so adorable, I wish you and your family nothing but blessings and happiness.
Love it! Beautiful couple and children:)
I love the advice they gave for those entering into marriage! It’s beautiful to see how they are now parents. Many blessings to them!
Thanks everyone for the wonderful comments and thank you BBB for acknowledging my family. BTW, I am taking offers for babysitters so stay tuned -LOL
@Mrs Bartlett – Rumor has it that laughing a lot will keep you alive longer so it’s always on the schedule with my family. Thank you for the support and look forward to seeing you and introducing you to Dana in a few months.
It is always refreshing to read about young Black couples in love; you have shown so much wisdom at such a young age. May God continue to bless you and your beautiful children.
my favorite couple by far
I’m really genuinely happy for you guys. A lot of people face the same challenges but let them over shadow and poison their marriages/relationships. Glad you guys made it over the hurdle and kept your noses to the grindstone. See what happens when people don’t quit on their dreams despite tall obstacles. Keep it up guys.
I hate it when people talk bad about marriage as an institution. I am glad to see I am not the only one enjoying marriage. We need more or representations of happy couples sharing their experiences. Good for you guys.