Raised by married parents, a college graduate, pursuing a master’s degree and the owner of a pretty smile. Doesn’t that make me the perfect package? My relationship reality didn’t become clear until I began to scroll through my Insta (gram) timeline and notice many of my female classmates had either been recently married or engaged. For a moment I laughed at those girls. My first thought was, “Y’all are crazy!” Did your mother not teach you as mine did; to “Do You!” before settling down? In other words: Travel, party, live alone, and kiss a few frogs?

Surrounded by the future Real Housewives of Hampton University I felt like the cool kid and always found an opportunity to ask, “Are you upset because I’m single?” Things got strange when I visited New York for the holidays and the church mothers asked about my relationship status. My initial thought was that’s none of your business, but I’d giggle and make my way to the nearest exit. At those moments, I felt the idea that college was the breeding ground for husbands was taken a little too seriously. (Just not by the girls from “up north” like me. No shade intended.) I mean, I didn’t think financial aid covered husbands.

My good times came to a halt when my partner-in-crime Bria joined the “relationship club” and left me living the single life. Not to say that I didn’t have other single friends, but Bria and I had been like Pam and Gina during the first season of Martin. Our happy hours were traded for dinner dates with her boo. I temporarily was afraid that maybe I had been missing something. I couldn’t help but think, “This is college! Who has a boyfriend? Who has a husband?!” Clearly I hadn’t been the “cool kid” after all. These girls were in love with their men. They spent so much time together it suffocated me. I often wondered what the difference was between these young women and myself.

We’d all come from “good stock” but the only man I’d been madly in love with was my dad. Needless to say that my relationship with my father impacts the guys I date. They have some big shoes to fill. My dad is dope to say the least. I understand that no man will probably come close to his dopeness. I’m willing to settle for “Mr. Work Withable”, but there’s just some things I won’t compromise. For that reason, a few frogs have scolded me about my standards but it has only separated the men from the boys.

I’d seriously considered putting together a single girls club. (Yep, it was that bad.) Unfortunately the only members would’ve been my roommate Devin and I. If anyone had made my single years awesome it was Dev. Although her antics might’ve broken the knob on the crazy meter she always made me forget the idea of having a serious boyfriend ever existed. Not to say I’m against marriage or relationships. I actually love the idea of love! Successful marriages are common to me. Although I’ve experienced some of my parent’s worst days they manage to inspire during their best days. For this reason I aspire to marry…Just not at twenty-two. With marriage comes major responsibilities and I don’t think I’ve even grasped the idea of being responsible for myself. My advice to the twenty-two and fabulous crowd like myself is to learn to be the reason you smile first and everything else will fall into place.

What do you guys think about pursing serious relationships in your early twenties?

Janee D. Weather is a 2014 graduate of Hampton University and currently pursuing graduate studies at the College of New Rochelle. The former Triple B intern was recently promoted to editorial assistant at BlackBridalBliss.com.