We have an exclusive new Black Bridal Bliss series debuting today called What Marriage Means to Me. Today’s essay is from Jacqueline of New York.

I approach this subject not as a presently married woman but as a child of a married couple. I grew up in a two-parent household as the youngest of four children. Although my parents weren’t affectionate toward each other by the time I became aware of such things, I witnessed two adults joined in matrimony, committed to raising their children to the best of their ability. Upward mobility was an important component of our family. When I was born we lived in Astoria Projects in Queens, NY. Thanksgiving 1964, I was 8, found the family in our own two family home in Jamaica, Queens. Later a country home was purchased that both of my children came to live in at some period in their lives. In retrospect I realized that all but one of my parents social circle in Astoria moved into their own homes one by one. Only one family had a second generation raised in the projects.

Both of my parents worked, as did the other women of the circle, no June Cleavers amongst them. We were never hungry nor went without necessities. We always had a vehicle or two and every summer either attended camp, Fresh Air Fund venues and/or stayed with relatives in Delaware and Maryland. I only mention this because it highlights that our care was planned rather than haphazard.

My siblings and I attended church every Sunday and sometimes evenings during the week, with my mother.  My mother monitored our education by unrestricted contact with teachers and we were always involved in extracurricular activities.

What marriage means to me is two adults working together toward a common goal. Sticking it out for the sake of the family, if there are children, has a major benefit. Never in my life as a child and young (and not so young) adulthood did I ever feel alone and unsupported. My parents were available to me as a team, at all times. Through giving birth as a teen (both of my parents left their job and drove me to the hospital together), marrying and giving birth as a couple, domestic physical abuse, divorcing then raising two sons, my parents were intricately woven into my life physically, emotionally and financially. Never was I insecure about my life as long as my parents were alive and healthy.

I feel blessed and forever grateful that my parents stayed together and provided a stable home for us. When I divorced I greatly regretted not being able to provide the same for my sons. In conclusion, marriage means creating a strong, stable, democratic, equality based, safe, loving home environment.

Being involved in sports I’ve often heard “teamwork makes the dream work.” Any calamity in my family brought out both of my parents, together. No need for multiple phone calls. They were the “one source” of safety, protection and above all love. I can’t remember the song but, I do remember the line “I wanna thank you.”  I do.

(*Image via reachsite.com. Couple has no known relation to Jacqueline and are probably models.)

What do you think of Jacqueline’s essay? How did your parents influence your definition of marriage? Share in the comments.

Read more about the importance of a strong work ethic in marriage from a man’s perspective here.