Wedding planning involves loads of researching, sending emails, making calls, following-up on those emails and calls, adhering to a set budget — whether that budget is $2,000 or $200,000, compromising, adhering to deadlines and timelines and…Okay I’ll stop. Like any other job (because let’s remember wedding planning is how many people pay their mortgage), there are aspects that become tedious, repetitive and boring but they are essential to the bigger picture. Mr. TK and I are learning more about our strengths and weaknesses and are fine tuning ways to best work as a team. (The best teamwork is exhibited when players best play their position.) But at the end of the (wedding) day, when all the bridal dust has settled, what will be most remembered about all that hard work and sacrifice?
Just last month at a bbq Mr. TK and I attended, someone shared “the best wedding they had ever attended” involved a colossal cocktail hour, a smorgasbord of desserts and vintage luxury vehicles to transport the couple. I chuckled to myself and I believe Mr. TK did too because we already know our wedding won’t have any of that and it actually has more to do with a matter of taste than money. My own favorite wedding memory took place in New Orleans and involved an euphoric second line. A close second is the tribute NBA star Chris Paul included to his deceased grandfather during his reception. Which led me to question how often couples plan weddings for their guests or for themselves.
If we’re truthful, I think it is a combination. Guests are a substantial factor in every step of the planning process. In penning this post, I remembered the sage advice Marriage Matters subject Sheona shared:
“People usually don’t remember the flower arrangements, or the plate they ate off of. People will remember if you and your spouse looked happy; they will remember the dancing, the conversation. They will remember seeing family and friends. They will barely remember your dress, but they will remember how you interacted with your new husband. True friends and family just want to see you in love and happy.”
Though Mr. TK and I are mature enough to plan our wedding day to please us first and foremost, wise words from people like Sheona are so needed for planning brides. Marketing in the bridal industry is powerful because there is so much emotion tied to weddings. Moments of doubt (Are our guests going to appreciate the effort put into this slideshow?) and disappointment (We really wanted to have a top shelf open bar all night but our budget doesn’t allow it!) are inevitable. If one wants a huge reception cocktail hour and can afford it — rock out! But if not, create something that reflects your personality and aesthetic because sincerity is always memorable. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Happy planning!
Oh and for the record, after more conversation (and discernment) I realized the aforementioned friend at the bbq might have been most “wowed” by the enormous food selections and Bentley at said wedding but none of that would have been memorable if the newlyweds weren’t head over heels in love and oozing with happiness throughout the day. Duly noted.
Editor’s Note: Whether you celebrate the 4th of July or not, have a great weekend! Triple B will be back on Monday, July 8th.
Great to know more about you and your hubby-to-be:)
@Jackie – ;-)
i think this is spot on and being a newlywed of 50-something days, this is advice i’d give to still-planning brides. if you invite the right people, barring the occurrence a few easy-to-avoid planning mistakes, they will say your wedding was the best night ever/so much fun/the best wedding they’ve ever been to. so relax.
even though we planned for a few memorable things and spent a lot of time trying to make sure our guests would have a good time, every time one of our guests says our wedding was the best wedding they’ve ever been to, i just take that as further confirmation that we invited the right people–people who love us and wanted to have fun celebrating our marriage.
conversely, if you invite people who just want to nitpick and compare, no amount of planning on your part will yield your desired effect.
@Highheels & Idos – Congratulations on tying the knot. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing this insightful comment! Such wise words…
I think the most memorable positive elements of any wedding are those that reflect the personality of the couple. Many of our guests commented on our ceremony, which wasn’t exceptionally creative or fancy. It was simple and fit us, and I think the fact that it expressed who we are together so well touched people, because it allowed our joy to shine through. The bottom line is that the couple enjoys it, because it’s their day.
Thank you very much for weighing in, Mrs. Williams!
Sheona’s right…I just attended my cousin’s wedding which was juice & soda only. It was a great time and the party was all about celebrating their love and finding inspiration in the elder couples who were there- bride’s grandparents have 50 years under their garter belt! Anyone who needed liquor could step out to the bar & get it but, very few did. I don’t remember any grumbling- just the love, dancing & candy bar at the end.