Triple B was recently made aware of the Huffington Post excerpt below via our pals at Lash to Lens. It has sent social media ablaze! In short, a newly married bride sent a message to a guest of her wedding complaining about the amount of her cash gift and actually requesting an explanation for said gift. Check it out:
“Hi Tanya, how are you? I just want to know is there any reason or dissatisfaction of Mike’s and I wedding that both you and Phil gave 50$ each? In terms of the amount we got from you both was very unexpected as a result we were very much short on paying off the reception because just for the cocktail + reception alone the plate per person is 200$ (as per a normal wedding range with open bar is about) and Mike and I both have already paid for everything else including decor, photography, attire etc. and didn’t expect we had to cover that huge amount for reception as well. As I know you both live together and work, so I did not see any reason for that amount, when it comes to your wedding hopefully you’ll know what I mean. I hope for the best as from what we receive is what we will give back. Anyways, good luck on everything.”
Anyone who follows Black Bridal Bliss somewhat regularly knows that Triple B does not condone bad manners and frankly, being a bride does not give one a pass for being a rude, ungrateful, tacky b*tch. I almost wish someone would send me such a message. Ha! Living within our means, especially when wedding planning, is easier said than done but marriage is for grown ups. I’m a believer that growth (and major creativity) often occurs when we challenge ourselves to do more with less. It seems as though this bride expected her wedding gifts to cover the costs of her wedding day. Major fail. However, to play devil’s advocate, confusion on the “acceptable” amount of a wedding gift — if there is such a thing — is certainly not a new phenomenon. I’m sure there are some people who may not go as far as sending their guests this type of note but deep down inside do share the bride’s point of view. I want to know what you guys think. Leave your sentiments and share what your response to this bride would be in the comments.
Annnnnnnnnd go!
This thinking is typical of my area. (Long island, NY). I definitely do not share this sentiment nor do I feel there is an acceptable amount that should be given. I am happy for our friends and family to show up and share our day!
This chick is completely out of the box! Gifts are optional expressions of love and friendship and we should no more expect a gift at a wedding than at a birthday party. How gauche of her.
At the heart of it, the wedding gift tradition seems to be based in guests’ desire to help the new couple start their lives together which is why it’s so common to register for linens, pots & pans and dishes- it was assumed that you didn’t have any since you were freshly moving out of your childhood home. Now, money is often the preferred gift since this may be what older couples can make good use of. I’ll admit that there is a ‘level’ of gift which should be in accordance with one’s closeness to the couple and the elegance (proxy for presumed expense) of the event. However, since you can never know all of the intricacies of someone else’s budget, don’t assume that their gifts will cover your costs.
If you want others to respect your choices when it comes to who was on the invite list, where it’s bein held or any other personal wedding-related matter, you have to respect your guests’ privacy, as well. I hope that for all of us, presence is valued over presents.
I’m with you Bridgette…I wish somebody would….smh!!!!
What this bride did is just tacky and disgusting………….
Unbelievable!!! The nerve of her!
And who is she to determine how much someone should give her just because that couple lives together?! As a good business friend of mine said…Do Not Count My Money!!! That woman does not know the monthly expenses and obligations Tanya and Phil have!
Why in the world would she spend all that money on a reception expecting the money from her guest to cover it? That money should have been used as a foundation (savings) for them to start their life together!
If I were a betting woman, I bet this bride’s husband “Mike” was not dissatisfied and probably did not know she wrote this! Oh well, that will be one less friendship she and Mike will have!
Keep the comments coming, folks!
@Carla – “Do not count my money.” is actually one of my mantras, LOL!