Growing up, I went to church every Sunday with my grandparents. My pastor would always speak of the love God had for the church, and how a man should have that same kind of love for his wife. I learned that marriage is ordained by God and is a sacred and holy. So when Leonard and I got engaged the first thing on my agenda was to start pre-marital counseling.
Unfortunately, Leonard and I hadn’t found a church home in LA. We’ve visited several churches but hadn’t found “the one” (we’re still looking so if anyone has suggestions we’ll certainly take them). Fortunately a coworker of mine told me that her brother was a minister and had counseled and married all the women in their family. I immediately reached out to him. From our first conversation it was clear that this was a man of God who knew the Bible (a must for me) and could help get our marriage off to the right start.
For me, the idea of pre-marital counseling was a must. I want our wedding to be a good time, but take our marriage very seriously. My philosophy on marriage is that it’s till death do us part. Therefore, I wanted us to go into it with as much knowledge and insight as possible. Failure is not an option, so I knew we needed help beyond our current village. I love Leonard more than words can express, but I’m smart enough to know that that’s not always enough. We’re going to fight and there will be times when we probably won’t like each other. How do I deal with those times? What do you do when the honeymoon is over?
Unfortunately, our current living situation isn’t exactly viewed by some as ideal. Yes, we’re shacking up, mostly due to the cost of living in L.A. and our personal preference (we lived in separate states and countries for the first two years of our relationship). Because of such, Leonard and I have declined taking communion during this time (his personal choice and I respect that). But as our minister said, and I agree, our intentions are in the right place and we’ve started taking the steps to right our situation. In less than 3 months I’ll be entering into holy matrimony (Wow!). I pray for my future husband and our union, and I ask for prayers from my new Triple B family as I take this giant leap of faith. With so many criticisms and attacks on marriage and the black family, I am encouraged knowing that with God all things are possible.
Read Nicole’s last Road to Mrs. post here.
I need to pick up this book! As far as a church I would recommend the pastor of this book you are reading. Pastor Fred K.C. Price of Crenshaw Christian Center is an awesome man of God. My mother started watching him over twenty years ago and I personally love Fred Price Jr (current pastor) and I was a member there before I relocated to Chicago.
Thanks for your honesty. Triple B wishes you a BLISSFUL marriage.
Kudos to y’all for taking the steps towards a blessed marriage. I would advise you to not be concerned with other people’s opinions with regards to you and your fiance’s living arrangements. It’s between, you, him and God ONLY. Can’t wait to here more about your marriage preparations :) x
http://www.www.louiseabenamensah.blogspot.co.uk/
I echo those sentiments of Cousin Mars. Prayers up. Finding a pre-marital counselor you both vibe with is a blessing. Sidebar: I had no idea taking communion was frowned upon while “shacking up”… Girl, enjoy YOUR bliss!
Today’s families need all the help they can get, I’m all for pre-marital counseling. I also believe it should come from a trained professional which may include religious figures but not always. Nicole, you’ve had my prayers directed your way from the first post, abundantly!
Love your honesty here. You’ve always been smart and your approach to marriage is blowing me away (in a good way, of course). I will most certainly continue praying for you, and as your friend, thank all others who are doing the same. Love you, kiddo.
Another great post Nicole. Always let your conscience be your guide. Blessings and prayers.
@Denee – thanks for the recommendation. I tend to shy away from huge mega churches but may have to give in and check this one out.
@Louise – thanks for the well wishes and advise. Leonard and I try to walk our own path without much distraction.
@SD – I can’t say thank you enough for the support and prayers.