Working with Black Bridal Bliss has afforded me the opportunity to interview scores of brides-to-be and women that have already jumped the broom. Two questions I often ask these individuals are: 1) What does marriage mean to you? and 2) What is/was your biggest fear entering marriage? The answers have been so entertaining and/or awe inspiring. Here’s part three in this enlightening feature. I invite you to revisit the first and second essays as well. You’re welcome.

Olivia (pictured above) is currently unmarried and resides in Maryland; this is how she answered the question:

When I was asked the question, “What does marriage mean to me?” I had to think about it because my idea of marriage has drastically changed over the years. When I was in my 20s, I pictured marriage as the union of a man and woman who are joined together in wedded bliss under the eyes of God. This newly married couple is inseparable. They look forward to coming home to talk about their day and talk about future plans. You’re up late at night engaged in mind-blowing sex…not worrying about the lack of sleep you’re going to get and the long day ahead of you. In my 20s I believed a married couple grew together because they are young and experiencing things for the first time….together. This couple is in no rush to have children because they have lots of time. They are both starting out in their careers, so money may be tight, but eventually they will be like the Jefferson’s and get that banging condo on the Upper East Side or a large brownstone in Brooklyn like the Huxtables. Did I mention mind-blowing sex? Now as a 30-something year old unmarried woman, my idea of marriage has been altered.  When I think about marriage, I think about compromise and responsibilities. When you get married in your 30s you want a spouse who can fit into your already existent style of living.

30-something newlyweds are already established in their careers, so their spouse has to be able to understand their hectic work schedule as well as other existing interests. This doesn’t mean that things cannot change, but you already know what you’re walking into, so neither party is looking for someone to change them. A 30-something married couple is thinking about starting a family from day 1, so that husband and wife time may be limited because they’re preparing for the pitter patter of little feet….If either party does not already have children. Oh yeah, did I mention mind-blowing sex? You know they say women reach their sexual peak in the 30s…

What do you think of Olivia’s essay? Share in the comments.

And revisit the previous essay in the What Marriage Means to Me series here.