Ever notice how the first 100 days a president is in office is a really big deal? Or perhaps we’ve just made it a really big deal… Well, I’ve compiled a list of ten things I’ve learned since I’ve been hitched. It has been more than 100 days but y’all get the gist. In addition to being therapeutic to compile, I hope this list is helpful to someone else the way Tie the Knot Tuesday alum Rashida’s letter was to me before I said “I Do”.

1 – Mr. TK and I did not live together before marriage and thus we learned and continue to learn a lot about our often annoying habits, quirks and such. Yet I don’t regret the road we took. I’m thankful that we have both had an opportunity to manage households individually — without roommates, siblings, children, parents, etc. — before cohabiting as husband and wife.

2 – I was more independent than I realized and I’m slowly learning that having a life partner means just that. Consulting with your spouse about everything doesn’t come naturally (or it didn’t necessarily for me) but it can be a beautiful thing when two people act as a team.

3 – When you’re in love with someone, things you thought you couldn’t do seem like less of a big deal. Like, “I would never move to that part of town or I will never live with a pet.” Trust me.

4 – Marriage has been the biggest mirror on my own self I’ve had in life thus far. Its crazy how much I’m learning about me (and I thought I was pretty self-aware). Some say becoming a parent is like this times fifty.

5 – Time away from each other is important.

6 – Comparing my marriage to anyone else’s — including my parents — is pointless and silly when you really think about it.

7 – Laughter and intimacy are gifts from God. Hopefully, both will play a key role in my marriage.

8 – Mr. TK and I downright get on each other’s nerves at times. See #5.

9 – My priorities have shifted and so have those of Mr. TK. Celebrity laced industry parties, designer sample sales, swag bags, etc. now pale in comparison to spending time with Mr. TK. (Corny but true.)

10 – We both still have a lot to learn and that’s a beautiful thing. We’re figuring out what we want our marriage to be in our time and on our terms and we have a lifetime to get it right.

BONUS: We typically see happy marriages portrayed as elusive, always blissful partnerships filled with rainbows and butterflies and violin playing or as hard (all work, no play), blah and boring jail sentences. Thus far mine has been neither and I highly doubt any marriage fits into those narrow definitions. As my husband’s 84 year-old wise grandfather casually told us last weekend, “Marriage is what you make it.”

Any newlyweds wanna weigh in on this list? What about single, divorced or longtime married folks? Sound off.

Many thanks to Mondella of MJLA Media for suggesting this idea.