The touchy subject of the importance (or not) of engagement ring size has been covered here…and here on Triple B by Cousin Mars. But, I’ve never actually delved into the subject myself — until today. As of late, I’ve noticed a lotta folks posting pictures of rings similar to the one above on social media and the comments have been very telling. I’ve read things like:

“Yeah, that ring isn’t going to work. I’d cry. LOL”

“Boy bye.”

“For richer or poorer is after marriage not while courting.”

“Don’t give me no bullsh*t a** ring. I deserve a rock because I am his rock!”

Of course I’ve read comments that support any size ring the giver can afford or that the couple genuinely likes and not necessarily what society has dictated is acceptable. But they have sadly been the minority on my IG feed.

My own engagement ring was not a diamond (my choice) and isn’t big — at all. My now husband wanted me to have a ring that was meaningful to us and therefore asked my mom if he could use the ring my father gave her decades earlier. Knowing how close I was to my father, my husband felt this had more significance than a new ring. And it does. I’ll admit I always envisioned myself with a cushion cut amethyst stone, but the one I have means so much more. Whenever I look down at it now, I think about the effort put into it — and the fact that it represents the rich legacy of my parents and the new one Mr. TK and I are building together. Corny? Maybe. But it is us. And the diamond that was originally in it will be used for another piece of jewelry at a later time.

The title of this post is kinda misleading (but I needed to get your attention) because my ring happens to mean quite a bit. I’ve lost track of the number of people — many close to me — who genuinely seemed let down and disappointed after seeing my ring for the first time. Silly rabbits. Thankfully I’m at a stage in my life where people fawning over my engagement ring means little to nothing. But having a partner by my side to help me navigate this unpredictable journey of life who happens to still make me light up when he walks into a room? Now, that means everything. And for the record, I still enjoy playing dress up with baubles and such. I happen to love accessories. I just don’t subscribe to the notion that the size and/or cost of my ring is the most important part of my relationship.

Sidebar: Marriage is no joke. The work involved — sacrifice, compromise, understanding and patience — is real. All those folks who think the size and/or cost of their ring will help the health, happiness and longevity of their marriage…Um, yeah. Good luck with that reasoning.

 Leave me your thoughts on this matter in the comments, folks.