I recently stumbled across this post by Teal Pennebaker on wedding toasts over at Brides.com and decided to share it — well, a remixed version anyway. It’s long overdue since Cousin Mars has already blessed us with tips for a memorable best man toast for the groom…The bride deserves her shine too! Read, share and enjoy.

1. Ditch the Generic Praise
Too often maid/matron of honor speeches are blah. “She’s awesome!” “She’s a great friend!” “I’m so happy for her!” While this might all be true, it lacks depth. Use the toast as your opportunity to bring the bride to life. Stories about her are an effective way to do this.

2. Become an Vivid Story Teller
There’s a reason treasured stories are passed down from generation to generation — they resonate. I’ve come to the conclusion that most Black folks are naturally talented griots. People don’t remember platitudes. However stories stick with us. They breathe life into the bride and groom.

Example:
“Tanisha is such a great friend! She’d do anything for me!”
vs.
“When Tanisha and I were juniors at Howard — I pledged Delta and had a very hard time keeping up with my schoolwork. Even though Tanisha was anti-establishment as far as sororities are concerned (and still is!), she went above and beyond to help me out that year. She wrote papers for me, completed projects on my behalf…If it weren’t for Tanisha I would have probably flunked out of school and definitely lost my academic scholarship. Not to mention she had her own heavy course load to maintain as an engineering major. I owe a huge part of my present career to Tanisha. The most impressive part of it all was that she has never once reminded me of what she did. Not once.

See the difference?

3. This Isn’t About You
While the stories you tell can be about your time with the bride, you should not be the focal point. There’s nothing worse than a speaker who goes on and on about herself! This isn’t your moment, boo. You’re simply the vehicle to explain why the newlyweds are so fantastic. Only bring yourself into the mix as necessary, and instead focus on the couple.

4. Save the Ex-Boyfriend Stories for the Bachelorette Party
You can write reality tv script about your best friend’s dating life. The guy who claimed he was a rapper, when in fact he was a part-time gopher at Def Jam. The 40 year-old dude whose mommy issues were so bad that she still ironed his boxers. Of course these tales are hysterical, but they’re simply not appropriate for a wedding reception. Would you want your Nana knowing about all the fellas from your past? No bride wants to be reminded of her dating history, especially in front of her new spouse and all his loved ones.

5. Start with the Bride, End with the Couple
You’re likely giving a speech because you’ve been close to the bride for a long time. Of everyone at the wedding, you probably have the best insight of how much the bride has grown since she and the groom became an item. Your speech needs to be about the friend you knew long before the groom, and then pivot to what role the groom has played in your friend’s life. Maybe she’s funnier now thanks to her new husband’s sense of humor or his support has empowered her to take risks in new ways.

Stories, of course, will make each of these points better, and ensure that you give a well-balanced (you want some laughs, followed by some tears of joy!) toast that the bride, groom, and guests will remember for years to come. Oh and keep your toast at 5-6 minutes, max. Anything longer and you’ll start to lose folks to the open bar.

Top image courtesy of George Street Photography via the nuptials of Kesha + Steven in Tie the Knot Tuesday.

Do you have any additional wedding toast tips? Share them in the comments!