Triple B's own Cousin Mars shares an honest male pov on getting grooms involved in wedding planning.

So, you’d like to know how to get him to participate more with the wedding planning. In order to accomplish this we must first attempt to understand his point of view. It should be safe to assume that you are extremely excited about beginning this new chapter in your life. A chapter that you might have dreamed of for many years. A chapter that, in a sense, ends life as you know it and allows you to begin a new life with your soul mate. Okay, back to him.

He realizes or thinks that you have all of the answers, but are just asking his opinion to be polite. In addition, what you’re viewing as the most romantic thing possible — stating your vows to the one you love — he is viewing as some scary ISH! No, not because he isn’t ready. Not because he doesn’t love you. Instead, it is because ever since he was 15 years-old the “Wedding Day” symbolized EXTREME RESPONSIBILITY. After “I Do” is said, a good man accepts that you two become a team. But please understand that he feels he is the LeBron or Kobe on this team. Yes, that means all of the pressure and blame if things aren’t always peachy (relationship, home, children, etc.). You didn’t cause this unnecessary stress…society did. It is worse if he hasn’t closely witnessed successful marriage. All of this simply means that he is as excited about marrying you as you are about him, BUT he isn’t nearly as fond of the ritual (Wedding Day) that begins this journey. So, you have two options:

Option A.  Make the necessary decisions and run them by your fiancé as they are made. This allows the two of you to act as if he is participating, but prevent any delays (which can be costly).

Option B.  Assign your fiancé only the tasks that he is willing to accept.

This is funny. I’ve just given you another decision to make. I’m sorry, but I know you’ve all heard sometimes it needs to get a little worse before it gets better. In this case, the two options are actually both pretty simple. Really, they are. The first option allows you to accept that you will plan your wedding day alone (well, just about alone). This should actually reduce future stress because you are no longer expecting your fiancé to change. To me, that is a minor burden added and a huge one lifted. Who wants to get pissed with the person they’re planning to spend the rest of their life with. The second option requires you to do a bit of thinking. I’ll help reduce the amount of thinking (or at least attempt to). Some tasks that I’ve found guys more willing to accept are as follows:

1. Honeymoon planning – But be sure to collectively discuss budget, duration, and accommodation expectations

2. Entertainment (Go DJ!) – But be sure that he is fully aware of the attendees and doesn’t focus solely on satisfying his music taste

3. Desserts – Believe it or not (and you probably don’t), there are many guys that would love to attend a few tastings and make a decision after satisfying their inner BIG BOY.

4. Photography / Videography – Confession! It may be obvious that we aren’t thrilled to plan what many men consider a day for the bride, but when we see our true love walking towards us all done up…yea, we melt. Some of us even release a few tears. Why not try to get him to choose those that will capture his last moments of being a pimp bachelor (just joking, ladies).

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