Last month’s Mother’s Day Special Series received such positive response that I decided to show love to the other parent — FATHERS. I chose to allow women to show their appreciation for, in most cases, the first man they loved. This month, Marriage Matters Mondays will be replaced with a Cousin Mars Special Series: How Daddy Helped Me to Be A Better Wife. Our first participant and the BlackBridalBliss.com editorial assistant Janee D. Weather (aka Venus) currently resides in New York and has yet to marry.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that my father taught me how to be a wife, I would say that he taught me how to be intellectually attractive. For lack of better words my father didn’t just teach me how to be eye candy but he taught me how to be soul food. One of his greatest lessons was in compromise. He taught me that in any relationship — specifically those with men — my imperfections/not-so favorable habits have to be a trade-off. In turn, I must be willing to accept my mate’s flaws just as he’s willing to accept mine.
Huh? Somewhere there had been a miscommunication. The man that he’d have for me is supposed to be perfect. Happy wife, happy life…Remember?
But seriously, if I was allowed to be the only flawed individual, how would me and my mate grow? How would our souls become intimate and vulnerable if there are no mistakes to learn from? Compromise takes on a different meaning when you’re 22 and your boyfriend would rather watch the NBA Playoffs then sit across the table from you at Carmine’s restaurant and gloat about how beautiful you are yet even at such a minute level compromise in love is so essential. Luckily my father is a modern day renaissance man so not only can I cook, clean and fish but under his counsel I learned to love, respect, and listen. As exciting as the thought might be for Mr. Weather to hand me over in marriage to another man I’m glad that he groomed me to be a woman first.
How did you father (or father figure) help prepare you for marriage?
Read another thought-provoking piece from Janee here.
This is beautiful. I wish more fathers realized the long lasting impact they have on their daughters (and sons, but in a different way).
Nice!! Looking at the picture above you can see how proud Janee’s father is of her.
Thank you for sharing those beautiful sentiments, Janee. I agree wholeheartedly with Erica on the impact fathers have on their children. My father repeatedly told me “you can do bad all by yourself.” Therefore when my marriage didn’t work out, I had no trepidation about ending it. He (and my mother) were there with me and my children every step of the way. My father’s love for me was truly unconditional and I am so appreciative of that.
I’m really enjoying the special series you guys are doing this year. This was great.
Good stuff, Janee! And I most certainly agree w/ Anon…The expression on your dad’s face in that pic is priceless.
I haven’t yet had the pleasure of meeting your dad. However, on multiple occasions I have seen your face light up when you talk about him. The obvious bond the two of you share is heartwarming. Thank you for participating in the Father’s Day series.
I enjoyed this so much. We cannot share these types of stories enough! You are surely blessed Janee!!!
What can I say I’m a daddy’s girl when he’s not fussing with me about “being out in the streets” lol whatever that means. Thank you all for weighing in!