Last month’s Mother’s Day Special Series received such positive response that I decided to show love to the other parent — FATHERS. I chose to allow women to show their appreciation for, in most cases, the first man they loved. This month, Marriage Matters Mondays will be replaced with a Cousin Mars Special Series: How Daddy Helped Me to Be A Better Wife. Our first participant and the BlackBridalBliss.com editorial assistant Janee D. Weather (aka Venus) currently resides in New York and has yet to marry.
I wouldn’t necessarily say that my father taught me how to be a wife, I would say that he taught me how to be intellectually attractive. For lack of better words my father didn’t just teach me how to be eye candy but he taught me how to be soul food. One of his greatest lessons was in compromise. He taught me that in any relationship — specifically those with men — my imperfections/not-so favorable habits have to be a trade-off. In turn, I must be willing to accept my mate’s flaws just as he’s willing to accept mine.
Huh? Somewhere there had been a miscommunication. The man that he’d have for me is supposed to be perfect. Happy wife, happy life…Remember?
But seriously, if I was allowed to be the only flawed individual, how would me and my mate grow? How would our souls become intimate and vulnerable if there are no mistakes to learn from? Compromise takes on a different meaning when you’re 22 and your boyfriend would rather watch the NBA Playoffs then sit across the table from you at Carmine’s restaurant and gloat about how beautiful you are yet even at such a minute level compromise in love is so essential. Luckily my father is a modern day renaissance man so not only can I cook, clean and fish but under his counsel I learned to love, respect, and listen. As exciting as the thought might be for Mr. Weather to hand me over in marriage to another man I’m glad that he groomed me to be a woman first.
How did you father (or father figure) help prepare you for marriage?
Read another thought-provoking piece from Janee here.