I’ve been hearing an increasing amount of chatter surrounding how weddings are a complete waste of money and in lieu of them couples should buy a house, or pay off their student loans or splurge on a fancier honeymoon. I get it. Really I do. But many couples — yes even Black ones — who are preparing to tie the knot already own a home, do not have student loans and have traveled extensively prior to getting hitched. The whole “just elope/do a destination wedding” isn’t necessarily the most cost-effective route either. I wish people who don’t truly understand the wedding industry would stop saying that. One of the most expensive affairs I have attended to date was a destination wedding at the One & Only Ocean Club in the Bahamas nearly a decade ago.

The memories from a wedding can be priceless. Many of us authentically delight in witnessing various cultural traditions and most of all two people vowing to begin a lifelong journey with one another all in the name of love — in spite of how challenging or unpredictable that might be. When individuals take sacred vows in front of their closest loved ones…vows to commit to this here thing we call marriage? Major.

Of course there are couples who overspend on their nuptials. People overspend on birthday celebrations, housewarmings, baby showers and just because parties too. Black Bridal Bliss does not condone anyone going into debt to get married. A wedding does not have to include bridesmaids, an abundance of flowers, a traditional seated dinner, chauffeured limos, a top-shelf open bar, a bouquet/garter toss or a pricey gown. Invite the people who really matter not those who solely want to compare your wedding to the last one they attended. Make the day about the two of you as a couple — regardless of what’s trending on social media — and keep it within your means. Only you and your future spouse truly know what your means is so don’t worry about what anyone else thinks especially if they aren’t contributing financially. Cut your clothes to fit your size.

If you desire to get married in your cousin’s country backyard and serve BJ’s cake, spiked lemonade and wings with potato salad while Pandora plays DJ, use Evite to invite guests and you strut around in an H&M jumpsuit, then danggit, that’s what you should do. And enjoy every second of it. It is a wedding even if it is out of the (traditional) box. The idea that someone has to choose between having a wedding and purchasing a home is lame. One can do both. Maybe both cannot be done at the exact same time but with compromise and discipline, it can, and does, happen. Take advantage of resources like this and this as a couple when planning your marriage. I wish I’d known about them sooner so I’m paying it forward.

Enjoy your bliss, folks!

Addendum:

Let’s get a few things out the way. For many, weddings are an opportunity to be a “celebrity” for a day, a weekend or for select bridezilla-types maybe even throughout their entire engagement. If you want to live out some Disney fairytale you’ve had since you were six, this post is not for you.

There are also those who have weddings simply to get gifts. This post isn’t for you either.

Then there are those who want a wedding but don’t really want to do any of the work required to stay married (can’t wait to show off that ring, though). You know, the folks who don’t even pretend to take their vows seriously. Honey this post and furthermore this blog probably ain’t for you. Bless your heart. I’m two years in and still have much more to learn. Marriage is not a joke.