I recently read an article over on Black & Married with Kids written by Franchesca Warren titled, Can a Single Woman Do Too Much Before Marriage?. The piece was penned two years ago but the topics it addresses are still very relevant today. Warren explained that she became a homeowner at 23 — among having various other admirable accomplishments — and was happy to have married a man who viewed her ambition as a good thing. Yet, she points out how others maintain mantras like, “A woman should wait to purchase “big” things (dream car, house, etc.) until she’s married. If they don’t wait, then it’s intimidating to a potential mate.”
While Cousin Mars has covered this topic — somewhat — once (Hey, maybe it is time to revisit this Mars!), Triple B hasn’t gone here otherwise. I thought most — more like virtually all — of the folks in Triple B’s audience were on the same page as Warren. But upon more thought and reading the comments over on BAMWK, I realize that isn’t necessarily so.
Tell me folks, where do you stand? Do you think a woman should hold off on making big ticket purchases like a home, luxury vehicle, taking trips around the world, etc. until after marriage? Why or why not? Sound off!
Sidebar: In case there was even a question of where I stand on this matter…If I ever learn that my nieces or goddaughters are putting off reaching for their personal goals for the sake of a significant other, they will get an earful from me! If they want to purchase property, buy a Benz (I would highly suggest they go the certified pre-owned route because of how quickly cars depreciate though.) or backpack around Asia for a summer and have the means to do it and no major responsibilities holding them back, you better believe Auntie Bridgette will do everything she can to help them achieve those goals — well at least the property and the Asia trip. Sure I’m a longtime romantic, but condoning that girls and young women sit around waiting for someone to sweep them off their feet before they pursue personal goals is something I will neva, eva preach.
Like my grandma say only a weak man can’t handle a powerful woman! #noshade but your mates success should not hold any weight
I do believe when a meek and humble woman meets the right man, regardless of her accomplishments, if he’s the one for her, he will see her worth and count his blessings……………
This usually happens with a man that has his own insecurities and penned them on his lady. I had an ex that told me that I travel too much and I should wait until we get married to do this. Prior to being with him I love to travel and explore the world. He never been no where outside his local area and he felt some type a way. Matter of fact, being with me he was able to visit another country. I think a confident, secured man will commend his future wife on all her past endeavours. Fast Forward I found a man that loves traveling and loves the fact that I been around to different countries. Don’t hide your true self, there is a man that will accept you with all you success and embrace it
Miss me with that billsh*$! I wish I would lower my aspirations in an attempt to get a husband. I drive a Range Rover, own my own home and looking to buy a new one as a rental property very soon. Any dude who is intimidated by what I have isn’t the hubby for me. NEXT!
Yes and no. I agree with the above comments for the most part BUT some women go around boasting to any and everyone about what they have and how they got it like “I am single and I pay my mortgage, car note, etc. all by my damn self!” We all know the type. It’s like good for you boo but there’s no need to beat us over the head with that information. I can see how THOSE types of women can be a turnoff to a man who is looking to settle down. No man wants to feel like he has to compete with his wife.
I concur with all of the above comments.
There are some insightful comments here. Keep ’em coming, folks.
If a man in intimidated by a woman living a full (life) before he showed up; he is weak and insecure. I am single, earned (2) Advanced Degrees, own a Home, work hard, stay humble and thank God for all my blessings. Ladies should live life to the fullest and not expect the man to complete them wheras they should both be whole. He should also have something to bring to the table (assets, knowledge, gifts, talents,) The relationship should not be based on tangible stuff; but compatability, respect, character and the purpose the couple have together on earth in the context of marriage. They can work together as one if they marry and there is no need for competition in any manner, as George Tandy would say; “MARCH” he meant together as (1) in life in the song, IF NOT LADIES RUN. Yes we can be strong willed as women, but a wise woman will be balanced. I will teach my grandaughter, nieces, little cousins and other females of influence in my circle to enjoy life and do not allow a man to stop them because of his baggage. Brothers if this is a issue for you, get in counseling; you are not healthy enough to be in any relationship if you think so simple minded.