We all remember BET’s hit reality show The Family Crews. Terry and Rebecca Crews welcomed us in their L.A. home, making us all feel like family. But what happened when the cameras stopped rolling? Triple B chatted with Mrs. Rebecca Crews about getting and staying married. Rebecca, who is refreshingly down to Earth, is clear that her husband did not become the man that he is overnight but in practicing commitment, compassion, and communication they held on. Terry and Rebecca are the proud parents of five children and celebrated 25 years of marriage on July 29, 2014. This is their story…
Black Bridal Bliss: When and where were you married?
Rebecca Crews: July 29, 1989 in Kalamazoo, MI at the Christian Life Center Church.
BBB: Wow! What do you remember most about your wedding?
Rebecca: My daughter cried through the ceremony. I felt bad for her baby-sitter. She cried more than I did!
BBB: Did you know that you’d always spend your life with Terry?
Rebecca: We were friends first. We grew on one another.
BBB: What’s your advice to the newly married or engaged?
Rebecca: Seek counsel and do some homework. It’s important to know that you both want to go in the same direction in life. I do not recommend marrying someone who has goals that are completely different from your own.
BBB: Great advice. What would you say are some of the qualities that causes your marriage to be successful?
Rebecca: I hung in there! There are three things that I think a marriage needs, I call them the three C’s. They are commitment, compassion, and communication. You cannot be dishonest, hold back your feelings, or play games. There shouldn’t be any secrets between couples that are considering spending their lives together.
BBB: What do you believe is the most challenging part of being a wife?
Rebecca: It’s difficult when they (husbands) don’t tell you how they feel. Having a son I’ve learned that men don’t have the same capacity for language as women. It’s not that they do not talk they just don’t talk in specifics. So when they’re bothered by something you’ll see them clam up or change the subject. Men will show you how they feel rather than tell you. That for me was hard. How can I be apart of your world if you can’t unload on me occasionally?
BBB: Who were your marriage role models?
Rebecca: I’m not sure that I had any but there was one situation that inspired me. I’ll never forget the day I heard a man I baby-sat for talking to his daughter. He said something very kind to her, quoted a scripture, and prayed with her. I remember after seeing this gentleman pray with his daughter, I asked God for a husband like that. Terry was not always that guy (laughs) — he had to grow into it. But I will tell you today that I’m very proud of the man I married.
BBB: I was a big fan of The Family Crews and I noticed you both have busy schedules. How do you find the balance in your marriage?
Rebecca: Although I have my own career I still mainly run the house. That allows him to feel like he can be a provider for our family. More importantly we work together. If he has a premiere or special event I’m there and vice versa. I’m not sure I’d be able to do what I do as a mother if home wasn’t taken care of first.
BBB: Is there anything we didn’t touch regarding your marriage that you’d like to share?
Rebecca: Marriage is not just something that transpires in a day. You are renewing your love for one another every time you say, act, or develop new ways of showing it. Marriage is a process not just a proposal.
Share your thoughts on Rebecca’s interview in the comments and read about more married couples who make their love work in the spotlight here and here!