Couple: Tashai & Ron
Wedding Date: May 15, 2005
Wedding Location: A ski resort in Liberty Mountain, Pennsylvania [This location was chosen because the couple met during a ski trip in PA.]
Children: Aaron, 22; Kennedy, 6; Addison, 3
TASHAI SAYS
Talk That Talk
We’ve conquered our most significant challenge since being married through direct and frank communication coupled with counseling. Fortunately we had already demonstrated open communication with each other. So, when this particular challenge presented itself taking our already successful and effective communication to the next level is most of what needed to be done.
(Adjusted) Time Management
Having infants in the house definitely changed the dynamics of our marriage. Aaron (Ron’s son) was a freshman in high school when we got married. He was self-sufficient. If we wanted to get away for the weekend – we could. He also always had another home he could go to (his mother’s). Whereas with our little girls, getting away isn’t as easy. It is a challenge – with respect to time. But I don’t know anybody that wouldn’t have those challenges. Individuals decide what type of parent they want to be. It doesn’t always coincide with what type of wife you want to be. We don’t have as many date nights as we wish we could but we have a lot more laughter at home because they are clowns.
He Gets Me
Although there were some aspects of our relationship that Ron wasn’t as keen on, he was willing to sacrifice for us to be together. This was prior to getting engaged. There are a couple of things about Ron that bring me bliss. Him thinking that I’m funny gives me plenty of joy. Also, he is an awesome dad. His children are very fortunate to have him as a father.
Tashai’s favorite wedding ceremony memory: The sand ceremony and how we were able to inter-mingle our families is my favorite wedding memory. His mom read a scripture. His (our) son was his best man. My parents had their part. So, we already started making strides into making the two families into one.
RON SAYS
Fear of the Unknown
The unknown was my biggest marriage fear. Of course I thought I knew Tashai well, but I also know that you don’t truly know someone until you have to interact with them all day every day. There are different things you learn about someone [once you’re living with them as husband and wife] that can potentially trip up a marriage.
I’m a Force When We’re Together
The best thing that has happened since marrying Tashai is that life isn’t as hard as it once was. You don’t have to work as hard for anything because there are now two people fighting and pursuing one goal. For me that has been the most pleasant surprise.
Second Time Around
I think my first marriage prepared me for the second [current one with Tashai]. I knew what I shouldn’t do and what would cause trouble. I also knew what I needed to do to maintain a healthy marriage. I truly feel the first marriage made me a better husband for my current marriage.
Ron’s favorite wedding ceremony memory: The fondest memory about our reception was the first dance during the true party (not our first slow dance as a couple). We danced to 4Ever by Lil’ Mo and Fabolous.
Share your thoughts on Tashai and Ron’s interview below! Read previous Marriage Matters features here.
[Reporting by Cousin Mars.]
The fact that both Ron and Tashai look even more beautiful today than they did on their wedding day is a testament to a love that works. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. Tashai, you will always be my Taddy Waddy, I love you dearly!
I have been a fan of this marriage since the beginning. My friendly competition with my Big Sis has often helped me to excel in various endeavors. The example that she and Ron continue to set should help me better understand the commitment involved to keep a marriage healthy. Another reason I like this marriage – what other couple will have Lil Mo & fondest memory in the same sentence (lol).
@SD & LB – Thanks for the feedback! As the founder/editor of Triple B, I think I might be enjoying this anniversary series a little more than I should be, LOL! The couples have dropped such wonderful jewels and it is only Wed. I particularly like knowing what married couples say they remember most fondly about their weddings. As a planning bride myself, this information is priceless — as is Ron’s answer to that question!
Communication is key – this is so true. They are proof that effective communication is vital. ESPECIALLY when trying to hurdle obstacles.
Thanks for sharing your story. The fact that you shared your struggle (seeking counseling) and your success (2 people pursuing 1 goal) is good news for other couples, either married or in a committed relationship. May God continue to bles your union.
WOW what an awesome article.
I am so happy for Ron choosing to grow after the first marriage. Too often one becomes angry and bitter after a divorce. BBB has been known for showing us great women of color – now men? You rock Triple B.
I am so loving this week on BBB! The stories are inspiring and the advice is invaluable. To all the features couples: Thanks for sharing your struggles and triumphs…and your cutie-pie kids, too.