Some of these things might seems like no-brainers but…they unfortunately are not. Since we know you’re either planning your own nuptials or have a wedding or two to attend as a guest in the coming weeks, this list will come in handy.

And while we intentionally made these responses a little snarky, we want to stress that attending the wedding of a loved one is an honor. Regardless of whether the wedding meets your taste, respect the couple enough to allow them to enjoy their big day and the life-changing, monumental occasion as peacefully as possible.

1 – Why aren’t you tossing your bouquet, jumping the broom, etc.?
Different strokes for different folks…

2 – When are you guys having babies?
Stay out of my uterus, please and thank you.

3 – Will you ask your DJ to play The Wobble, Cupid Shuffle, Electric Slide, Step in the Name of Love, etc.?
Um, no.

4 – Are we getting favors?
Maybe. But something tells me you can wait to find out the answer to this one.

5 – We almost got married at this venue but I decided on XYZ Country Club instead because I like their ballrooms better.
Thanks, I’ll sleep so much better tonight knowing that.

6 – I’m surprised Lisa isn’t one of your bridesmaids.
Let’s not have this conversation now.

7 – Did you know someone spilled champagne near the bathroom?
No, I did not. Thank you for the intel; would you please let my maid of honor, wedding planner, mom, sister or member of the venue staff know?

8 – Why didn’t I get a plus one?

9 – I thought this was an adult-only wedding. Why did Keisha get to bring her son?
See response to number six.

10 – How much is all of this costing you guys?
Blank stare.

ADDENDUM: If said bride is displaying bridezilla behavior (so lame), all bets are off.

Did we forget anything? Let us know in the comments!