Traditional wedding etiquette suggests no one get invited to a bridal shower that isn’t invited to the wedding. Although I’m not big on subscribing to archaic traditions, this is a “rule” that makes sense to me and most of those I would imagine reading this post. However, I’ve lost count of the number of people who have come to me complaining about receiving an invite to a bridal shower but not the wedding itself. They typically feel slighted. So…
What do you think? With the exception of a bridal shower at work, is it ever okay to not invite someone to your wedding but extend an invitation to said person to the bridal shower?
Has this ever happened to you? And since most brides don’t throw their own bridal shower(s), when this does occur, should we look to the bride herself or her loved ones who actually did the planning?
Sound off, please!
I was invited to a “dear friend” of mine’s bridal shower and wedding but not the reception!!!! I was quite offended and hurt because I thought I was a close enough friend to be included. Needless to say our relationship has not been the same since. We speak every now and then but I don’t go out of my way to include her in my world.
In response to CAN’s comment, that was someone with their hand out to receive what you had to give. Plain and simple. I was invited to the shower, wedding and reception of my ex’s next girlfriend. She was not marrying him. It was very high end and I enjoyed every moment. I was treated like a true friend.
@ CAN + SD – I do know that it is common practice for many churches (particularly in the South) to host a wedding ceremony that is open to everyone in the congregation. Yet, I agree with SD here; it seems many people — like your former friend — want the gifts and attention of more folks at their bridal shower but don’t want to pay to feed them at the reception. I’m all for people living within their means, especially when wedding planning, but I don’t think one has to use people in the process.
Generally, I agree with the rule. If someone is good enough to be invited to the shower (and expected to give a gift) then they should be good enough for you to buy them a nice chicken dinner on your wedding day. Of course, there are some exceptions like persons who you know won’t be in town for the wedding and other personal, individual circumstances. So long as the invite is out of a desire to rejoice together rather than from a greedy heart, feelings and relationships should remain intact…hopefully.
I’m a little torn because I feel that if you are happy for me and I invite you to my wedding and bridal shower you shouldn’t be offended! I have found in my wedding planning that folks are too easily offended by the decision I make concerning my wedding….but that’s another story! Lol I know for me…having such a large family and a small budget that I and my fiancé are financing ourselves unfortunately I can’t invite everyone to my reception! BUT I am having a little “repass” at the church immediately after the ceremony. I love everyone and I pray nobody feels some type a way!